Hypothesis
by kwillads
Summary: Comfort comes from an unexpected source when John is unknowingly hurt in a trip and fall accident. Spoilers: Season's 1-5, Rated T for mild language, Chapter 2 has a warning. Story complete, but will be posted in 2 parts.
1. Chapter 1

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. The content of this story is solely for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

(Due to technical difficulties with formatting parts of my story for I had to remove my story a few times. My apologies for any inconvenience this may have caused my readers with 'Author Alerts' or 'Story Alerts'. Karen)

Hypothesis

Author: Kwillads

Chapter 1

It had been one hell of a week. The silent treatment, cold shoulders, plus dirty left-handed remarks from the military was bad enough but having your own gate team think you were scum took first prize. Ronon refused to go running. It was amazing how many excuses the Satedan came up with to beg out. Nor would he spar. Teyla had this ever present estranged smile on her lips each time she politely declined his many invitations to spar with her; though her eyes told him a different story. Sparring would have given her the excuse she needed to beat the crap out of him for what she assumed he had done or rather what he hadn't done. Those bantos rods stung even when she was pulling her hits in practice. But at every opportunity she declined. The mixture of regret and pitiable looks in her eyes was too much to bear.

It hadn't taken long for the whole base to get wind of his last mission. Rodney McKay and his two hundred mile per hour mouth just couldn't keep quiet. His view of the mission didn't exactly match Sheppard's. At least Teyla and Ronon just slighted him: keeping their opinion's mostly to themselves. Rodney on the other hand kept ranting about it, over and over to anyone who would willingly listen and even to those who wouldn't. Sheppard tried to curb Rodney's enthusiastic recall of their mission but in the end, each man is entitled to their own opinion. Rodney wasn't about to change his no matter how much John asked him too.

Throughout all of Rodney's ranting and ravings he managed to find time in his busy, busy, schedule to mess with the environmental controls to John's quarters and office. Each time Colonel Sheppard reported an incident involving his room or office, McKay was too busy and so were his minions. Sheppard couldn't even get the easy going Czech to help him out. Colonel Sheppard never knew if he would have hot water for his shower or wake up to sweltering heat or the freeze of the Arctic. Most days it had been cold showers. Quite invigorating combined with Arctic cold temperatures. And spending time in his office was no better; there he melted. Even the desert heat of Afghanistan during the day was not this hot. And no matter how hard he physically tried, how hard he mentally thought, he couldn't get the damn windows opened for relief. Rodney had somehow managed to lockout John's connection with Atlantis. He'd finally taken to doing his work in public places.

His XO, Lorne, whom he had to deal with pretty much on a daily basis with military matters found it hard to be in his presence. Answers were quick, precise and formal: 'Yes Sir', 'No Sir', 'I'll get right on that, Sir'. At one point Sheppard asked his XO if it was something he'd said or did that had his Executive Officer pissed at him. The sharp reply he got was 'Didn't do' before he turned on his heels and walked away. Sheppard resorted to e-mailing his orders, his requests; he couldn't stand the contemptible looks thrown his way any longer. In the last week John felt he'd lost all respect with the base. He'd worked so hard to gain the Marines and military contingents trust over the years. The occasional shoves in the mess hall line or bumps into the wall by passing military were taking its toll on him: mind and body. Snide remarks were said behind his back even though he would be standing in their presence. Everyday since the mission to P1N-060 had become filled with jabs at his character, his leadership and his command.

But life on Atlantis didn't stop just because your men were pissed at you. He himself had had to deal with many CO's he didn't particularly care for throughout his military career. Now the tables were turned: On him. No, there were duties and tasks that still needed to be carried out and overseen. Regardless of what they heard he 'did do' or 'didn't do' or 'hadn't done' on his last mission, he knew the truth and that was all that mattered. He'd been counting the days and couldn't wait for Caldwell to arrive.

The Daedalus was to arrive any day now bringing extra supplies and equipment and Warehouse 2 was in its last days of being overhauled to accommodate the new equipment. Little did the Marine and Air Force pilots know but Atlantis was finally getting their own fleet of F-302's. Sixteen slightly used state of the art hybrid aircraft. Warehouse 2 was being converted into a hanger bay for the sleek ships with room to spare for munitions, mechanics and general maintenance personnel. No one on base knew why the large warehouse was being renovated. Sheppard and Woolsey were the only two people who knew. And Sheppard wanted it to be a surprise. Fuel would be an issue until the science team assigned to the fleet of ships figured a new way of powering them. Hopefully with an abundant Pegasus fuel source. Which John had no doubt would happen. The advancements that had already been made since coming to Atlantis were testament to that belief. Until then the F-302's would be used sparingly. The Daedalus and Odyssey would be re-supplied with the new sleeker F-306's coming off the line in two months. The new ship, General Hammond, fresh off the assembly line herself would also be getting sixteen of the new ships after she completed her shakedown flight. Colonel Ellis's ship, the Apollo, would retain her compliment of 302's for another year or so before Atlantis got them, adding an additional 16 ships to the Ancient base.

As Rodney's version of events spread through Atlantis the cooks eventually took umbrage to what John had or hadn't done and started dishing out cold or burnt offerings whenever John showed up to eat. It didn't matter if he was first in line or the last to show up. He sat at the team table doing his best to swallow what was on his tray. A few times he'd watched Rodney fill his tray then automatically head for the team table only to stutter to a stop a few steps away before quickly scanning the mess hall. When his eyes fell on Radek, Simpson, Miko or some other unsuspecting scientist, Rodney veered off in their direction. Rodney even preferred Kavanagh's company to his. Leaving Sheppard alone at what used to be the 'team table'.

Ronon and Teyla did the same with more finesse. He'd watch them fill their trays but more smoothly than Rodney they walked to another table without giving his presence another thought. This was the hardest of all snubs to take, seeing his teammates walk away from him like he had the god damn plague. He tried to tell them he did it for them but they wouldn't listen. He couldn't wait for the Daedalus to get here. Then his personal suffering would be over.

In addition, none of the scientists working on Ancient tech radioed for his assistance with regards to light-switch duty. Before his last mission, he would have had to turn them down three or four times an hour. Now that he had the time, and plenty of it, they didn't seem to need his Ancient gene.

John found himself more often than not spending his mornings, afternoons, and evenings in some remote area of Atlantis. Balconies, piers, dark hallways, empty rooms around the city were his norm. Loneliness and silence were his only friends. John caught up on his backlog of work. Work he put off for the sake of putting it off until he could find someone else to do it. Once that was done he took to organizing his files; personal, job related, and mission related. He thought once that McMurdo was isolation at its worst, but this past week or so had changed his mind. Nothing could fill the emptiness he was experiencing now.

When his team came back from P1N-060 McKay had taken over the debriefing with his own personal views and assumptions interspersed with Teyla's account of events. Ronon hadn't added much. The Colonel interjected when McKay stopped to take a breath which everyone knew wasn't often once he got started on something. The debriefing had then turned into a yelling match soon after.

"_No one is going back to that planet! And since I'm in charge of the military I'm not authorizing a protection detail and that's final!"_

"_Colonel, sit down! You may be in charge of the military, but I am in charge of this expedition now."_

"_So, now you're going to go against protocol? I thought that was the whole reason behind the IOA sending you here so we didn't ignore protocols. Now you decide that this is one of those times to disregard them. You can't have it both ways!"_

"_Colonel! Colonel, come back here!"_

After that Woolsey no longer wanted face-to-face meetings about upcoming missions. Everything was handled through incisive e-mails.

He strode down to the medical wing to see about something for his outlandish headache. It was something he couldn't put off any longer. The medical staff handed him pain relievers without question. He felt lucky not having to sit through an exam. A packet of pills were tossed in his direction with a firm look that told him he'd overstayed his welcome.

The Colonel needed to get away from the backstabbing even if just for a little while. So he decided he'd take a jumper to the mainland for a few hours or so. Just long enough to do some serious thinking about his latest mission. Hopefully clearing his mind in the process. He walked into the hanger bay and to Jumper One out of habit.

"_Colonel…Jumper down for maintenance." _

"_Okay, I'll take Jumper Five then."_

"_No can do Sir. Maintenance."_

"_Jumper Two then."_

"_Maintenance."_

"_What!? All of them?"_

"_Yes Sir. Jumper Seven came back with a virus. Once it landed on its pad the virus spread to all jumpers."_

"_Great…just fricken great!"_

And every day after when he tried to use one of the jumpers, the jumpers or even the whole bay would be down for some type of routine maintenance. If the base wanted to punish him for his act they sure knew how to do it where it hurt. Keeping a pilot grounded was the worst type of punishment.

Team movie night had been moved to Teyla's quarters but his invitation must have gotten lost. When in his quarters, not even Johnny Cash on his iPod could keep him from feeling abandoned.

God, he hated being alone.

The medical staff was in the process of extracting their own brand of justice. That's where John found himself right now; in the infirmary. The last thing he remembered were biting nails and rough hands strapping him down on a gurney. The more his mind cleared in his waking state, the more he recalled…

"_Colonel Sheppard you're needed at Warehouse 2 immediately." _

"_Roger that." _

_When he arrived at Warehouse 2 it was a buzz of activity. Marines with cutting torches were high up on scaffolding cutting down overhead electrical conduits that were being rerouted by the electrical engineers. There were Marines working on the warehouse door installing an automatic opener as others worked painting specific markings on the large floor. Half of the large warehouse was finished with its renovations. In the last month Colonel Sheppard had pushed hard to get the other half done before the Daedalus arrived: adding a third crew and a second shift. He didn't want to hear about any more problems or delays._

"_What do you need Lieutenant?" Sheppard pointedly asked since there were several conversations going on all around them._

_**: "We need a ladder over here." :**_

"_Sir. The warehouse door only opens 14 feet. The specs say you need a minimum clearance of 20 feet."_

"_The whole reason this sight was chosen was because the initial assessment showed the doors opening to be 20 feet. What happened to my 6 feet Lieutenant?"_

_**: "Johnson, move that ladder over here." :**_

"_I don't know Sir. All I do know is that we're coming up short." _

"_How long to cut the side panels an extra 4 feet and weld each section to the existing doors?" _

_**: "Hold your shirt on…I only got two hands you know." :**_

"_And have it ready by the time the Daedalus gets here…not an option Sir." _

"_Make it happen, Lieutenant. That's why you're the foreman. Deal with it. It's your job to make things happen. If you need extra cutters and welders see Major Lorne."_

"_I don't need extra men Colonel. I've got enough of them that their stepping on each other. What I need is extra time. I don't think Major Lorne can give me __**that**__…Sir."_

_**: "Hey…watch it!" :**_

_**: "Look out!" :**_

John opened his eyes slowly for what seemed like the hundredth time only to clinch them shut against the bright blinding light overhead. He knew he was in the infirmary from the surrounding sterile smells and familiar clattering sounds. He knew from the bruises left by ungentle hands when they transferred him once more from gurney to soft bed. He knew from each time he'd been woken roughly during the night. Each time he tried opening his eyes a stab of pain shot through his head like a knife in the eye. Groaning, he found the call button and pressed it. While he waited he took stock of his body. Legs move. That's good. Arms…sore…but working. Ribs…seem ok. Head…aahhh…not so good. Bladder…full. _Yeah, better take care of that,_ he thought.

John couldn't see where the staff was in the infirmary so he pressed the call button. His curtain had been drawn but he knew someone had to be here. Keller and Beckett always made sure someone monitored the desk; besides his breakfast tray sat on the rolling tray table next to his bed. That was proof enough someone was around. His bladder was more insistent now wanting relief as much as his eyes wanted the light off. It had been several minutes so John pressed the call button again, mentally excusing the staff for not showing up promptly.

After the third time he pressed the call button and had waited a reasonable amount of time John decided to take matters into his own hands. His head was yelling at him not to move, but his bladder screamed even louder to move. Carefully he tossed back the bedding. Once he was up he'd turn the damn light off himself. John managed to rise up on one elbow letting the room do its spinning thing before he maneuvered his legs off the side of the bed pushing up into a sitting position.

Holding on tight to the mattress John let another brief wave of dizziness wash over him. After it passed he slid off the bed onto his feet still gripping the bed and now tray table with white knuckled security. His eyes landed on his breakfast tray; burnt toast, soggy cereal (was that bran?) with now warm milk and warm orange juice. He manfully swallowed down the nausea.

The Colonel got another reminder from his bladder of what he was supposed to be doing. As he took his first step the curtains whooshed open startling him causing him to catch his moving foot on the tray table he was holding onto for balance. The next thing he experienced was falling. His depressed equilibrium sent him, the tray table and his breakfast crashing to the floor. His previously, otherwise okay torso took the brunt of the fall landing him hard on the overturned tray table.

God, he hated concussions.

Carson tried to intercept his startled, now flailing patient but wasn't close enough. "Colonel you shouldn't be out of bed! You have a mild concussion. The many bumps on your head should tell you that! How many times do I have to tell you to use the call button if you need something? That's why 'its' there! You need to let the staff help you. That's their job. I don't understand why you have to be so pig headed. We're here to help you when you need it. Now let's get you back in bed." Carson made it an art to berate and help at the same time. The doctor put one of the Colonel's arms across his shoulders and gently lifted allowing his patient to get his feet under himself again. "Now what is so important that you couldn't wait for some help?" setting his troublemaking patient on the bed.

John rested on the edge of the bed, hunched over, gathering his wits with his right arm wrapped protectively around his mid-section. When the room stopped spinning, the ache in his side dulled somewhat and he could breathe without feeling nauseous he responded. "I did and I need to use the head." Then he added a firm, **"Now!"** with a commanding bark.

"Alright, just sit tight while I get a wheelchair." The Colonel didn't like to use the wheelchair; Ronon had told him once it was a sign of weakness. But right now John didn't think he could make it across the infirmary without embarrassing himself. He'd wasted at least a half hour or longer just pressing Carson's precious call button. Carson helped John into the chair. Moments later his achingly full bladder felt instant gratification.

Coming back from the head Colonel Sheppard compelled Carson to release him to his room, on the pretext that he be monitored by the staff periodically; it was a mild concussion after-all. John had had worse and if the nurses weren't going to answer the call button when he needed, then it was better to be in his room. At least there he could crawl to his bathroom in private if he had too.

On the way to his quarters in that damn wheelchair piloted by Carson, Carson reiterated he'd have someone check on him periodically and would arrange for his meals to be delivered for the next three to four days. John's orders were to rest and eat what he was brought. John opened his door and Carson rolled to a stop beside the bed. John stood, twisted and sat down heavily on the edge of the bed. When he looked up to thank Carson he was already gone, his quarters door closing. _Dumped_, he thought.

oOo

The Daedalus landed three days later. Standard mission supplies were off loaded, held in disbursing overnight before finally making their way to the many departments. Once all supplies were off loaded the Daedalus took up a geosynchronous orbit over the planet. He still had sixteen planes to off load. Colonel Caldwell and Mr. Woolsey spent most of the early morning hours discussing SGC and IOA's new business politics: budget cuts, manpower, supply issues, scientific needs; that sort of thing. Col. Caldwell had a list a mile long of his own problems concerning the new mandates forced on him, his crew and ship. He figured Woolsey, Colonel Sheppard and the rest of the senior staff would have their own too. And speaking of Colonel Sheppard…

"Mr. Woolsey, where is Colonel Sheppard? I thought he would be here for this meeting this morning."

"Oh, Colonel Sheppard has been recovering from a mild concussion he received in Warehouse 2. Doctor Beckett informed me he should be released back to full duty in a day or two. Major Lorne has been filling in for him in his absence."

"I see. And where is Dr. Keller?"

"She's taken leave. Her father isn't doing well from what I've been told. So we recalled Dr. Beckett from off world to sub in her place. He's familiar with how things work."

Giving an affirmative nod Col. Caldwell asked, "Is Sheppard up for visitors? I have some military business to discuss with him."

"I don't see why not. He's been in his quarters for the last several days resting; Doctors orders. Do you know where his quarters are?"

Caldwell gave a tilt of his head and rose, striking out for the base commander's quarters. He approached the door waving his hand over the Ancient sensor announcing his presence. A minute later he signaled the door chime again. Through the door he couldn't hear any movement but Mr. Woolsey sounded certain that Sheppard would be here. Taking another moment a thought occurred to him that maybe Sheppard was playing hooky. He started to turn away when he heard a faint _'help'_ coming from behind the closed door.

Using the override access code he was given years ago when the Daedalus first started making supply runs he opened the Colonel's door. The room was only lit by the mid-morning light coming through the half open curtains. Caldwell stepped inside, the door closing behind him with a silent whoosh. That's when his eyes fell upon the man sprawled on the floor lying in a pool of his own blood.

"Medical emergency to Colonel Sheppard's quarters!" Steven yelled into his radio at the same time bending down to check Sheppard's pulse. There was so much blood on the floor.

Half conscious hazel eyes fluttered open at his touch. A weak hand managed to grip Caldwell's retreating arm. "No." John rasped, his eyes going from certain death to relief to scared then to pleading all within a matter of a few seconds. "Daed…lus." He managed to whisper with a choked breath.

"Colonel, you need …"

"Ple…ssse." Came another liquid rasp.

Sensing the Colonel's distress, his obvious difficulty with breathing he didn't press the point. "Hermiod, lock on to my signal two to beam directly to sick bay. We have a medical emergency."

Relief washed over Sheppard one more time in a matter of seconds at the same time the brilliant white light engulfed him. The Asgard beaming technology on board the Daedalus deposited him and Caldwell in the ships sick bay an instant later.

Caldwell stepped back so the medical personnel could treat Sheppard. Orders were shouted by the ships doctor while nurses snapped too to carry them out. Vitals were taken and shouted out. Heart and lungs were listened too. An oxygen mask strapped in place. IV started. Competent, gentle hands skillfully examined looking for wounds. It was like watching a tornado: fast moving fury only controlled. Dr. Reynolds was calling for another vitals check.

"Pressure's dropping fast! We're losing him."

"Stay with me Colonel. I need you to hang on a little while longer. Come on people. Terry, push two liters of O negative. We need to get him stabilized. Bren, 100 percent oxygen then type and cross match. I want at least six units standing by. More if we got them. Matt, start a second line and push fluids. I got a distended abdomen and decreased breath sounds. Someone tell the OR staff to be ready in two minutes. Let's go people! You're doing great Colonel. We'll have you fixed up in no time. Just stay with me…okay?"

And within those two minutes Colonel Sheppard was stabilized enough to be whisked off the floor of sick bay, onto a gurney and into the operating room. Caldwell looked on in awe as he watched his people work. Usually he would have been on the bridge during a crisis and only after the crisis was over would he receive any details of lives hurt or lost. Seeing his crew work as they had just done filled him with immense pride.

"Colonel? Colonel Caldwell?" The nurse said a second time trying to draw his attention.

"Yes."

"Dr. Reynolds is requesting any further information you might have on Colonel Sheppard. Did you see…?"

"I found him in his quarters lying on the floor in a pool of blood. I don't know anything more. Oh…according to Mr. Woolsey, Colonel Sheppard was recovering from a mild concussion he sustained."

"How large was the pool of blood?" Bren gave the Colonel time to think but when he still didn't respond, she offered suggestions. "Was it the size of a saucer? A dinner plate? Larger?"

"Larger."

"Thank you Colonel." Bren turned hustling back to the OR area when Caldwell shouted.

"Nurse! Keep me informed of his condition."

Turning to look at the ship's commander she said with a smile, "Of course Colonel."

Steven didn't want to think about the blood on Sheppard's floor. But it wasn't the blood so much as what was written with blood that was really bothering him. Steven turned and headed for the beaming platform talking into his headset. By the time he got there Major Marks and an SO Marine joined him.

"Marks you know what to get?"

"Yes Sir."

"Sergeant Dixon I need you to stand guard outside Colonel Sheppard's quarters. No one is to enter. No one."

"Yes Sir."

"Novak, beam Marks and Dixon down to Atlantis in the hall outside Sheppard's quarters."

A white flash of light had the two men disappearing.

oOo

Dr. Reynolds found the ship's Captain several hours later in the empty commissary staring at a blank wall over a cup of cold coffee no doubt. The Colonel seemed unaware of his presence so he took the time to fill two cups with coffee. Reynolds approached the table cautiously not wanting to spook his commanding officer nor spill the hot liquid he was carrying.

"Doctor?" Caldwell perked up when something moved in his peripheral vision.

Dr. Reynolds set both cups of coffee on the small table before slipping into the seat across from Col. Caldwell. He pushed one steaming cup toward Caldwell. "He's stable for the moment." Picking up his own cup for a quick taste a mellow sigh escaped along with some of the exhaustion. "We almost lost him a couple of times before we could find and repair the damage. It was more or less exploratory surgery to find the cause. Somehow Colonel Sheppard managed to puncture a vein. The perforation allowed blood to fill in his abdominal cavity as well as seep into a tear I found in his lung. That's why he was having such difficulty breathing. I'd venture to guess he'd been bleeding internally for several days due to the extent of blood loss. We used every pint available and I've got Dr. Morris lining up matched volunteers." Phillip picked up his cup to hide what else he had discovered. It made him sick to his stomach just thinking about it.

"There's something else." Steven paid close attention to the doctor's body language and knew something else was wrong. He did an internal ten count before speaking again. "Doctor?"

"The internal bleeding wasn't all. I found evidence of malnourishment. My best guess would be that Colonel Sheppard hadn't eaten in several days as well. His stomach and intestinal track were devoid of matter. You mentioned that the concussion was 4 days ago; mild. There would be no medical reason that I can think of that would cause him to lose his appetite to this extent. I would need to review his most recent medical history to determine the extent of the concussion to further diagnose his condition."

"I'll see what I can arrange. Something else?"

"Why here? Why bring Colonel Sheppard here? Atlantis has the more sophisticated equipment than the Daedalus." Phillip Reynolds had wanted to know the answer to this question from the moment the injured man was beamed into his sick bay.

"There's something going on down there. I don't know what yet but I don't like it. When I saw Sheppard lying there I radioed for a medical team. With what little strength he had left he grabbed my arm and said 'no'. I didn't understand at first what he meant but then his eyes changed. From glassy relief to like they were pleading with me to help him. He managed to say 'Daedalus'. It was almost like he was…"

"Was…what? Colonel."

"Frightened. Scared. Apprehensive maybe. I think he was resolved to the fact that he was dying, right then and there in his quarters. I caught several fleeting emotions in a matter of seconds. I'd never seen him so frightened as I did when I called for help. I don't think he wanted to go to the Atlantis infirmary. He's been here almost nine hours, why hasn't anyone called to see if he was here? Why he's not in his room? Why there is a Daedalus Security Officer in front of his quarters? Something's definitely wrong. He doesn't deserve this…no one deserves this kind of treatment. No one deserves to resolve themselves to die alone like that. Was there any other damage?"

Phillip listened to the string of concern coming from the man sitting across from him. Atlantis is such a tight-knit family that it was very odd no one had checked on the missing man. So Phillip settled for answering what he did know. "Bruising, more recently on his arms and legs, we're watching his kidney output. I'm getting an EKG and EEG. So far I'm not seeing any brain damage or damage to his heart muscle. It'll be a day or two before he's coherent enough to answer questions. I'll let you know when you can talk to him. In the mean time, if you can get me his medical records I'd sure appreciate it Colonel. Breaks over, I better get back to my patient."

"Thank you doctor." Steven gulped down his remaining coffee. He needed to find out what was going on in Atlantis that had allowed one of their own to nearly die. Why Colonel Sheppard reacted the way he did about going to the infirmary. Why the Colonel hadn't eaten in days and a myriad of other questions. One specifically being: why hasn't any of Sheppard's team tried to locate him? "Major Marks report to the commissary immediately."

oOo

"Mr. Woolsey, Col. Caldwell and party are ready to beam down." Announced Chuck.

"Very well." Woolsey headed down the grand stairs to meet them on the gate room floor. A brilliant flash lit up the area and five people were left standing in front of him. "Welcome back Colonel."

"Thank you Mr. Woolsey. I was wondering if we could use the conference room for this and could you contact Drs. Beckett and McKay along with Major Lorne to join us please."

"Of course Colonel, right this way." Woolsey swept his hand up the stairs and began leading the way towards the conference room however Caldwell and his party surged past him taking the steps two at a time allowing him to contact the others.

It had taken Caldwell and Marks five hours to devise a plan. The following morning Caldwell filled in his ship's doctor. Lt. Novak and Capt. Kleinmann remained immune. Caldwell just couldn't get the scene of Colonel Sheppard lying on the floor in a pool of blood out of his mind. Whatever was going on here in Atlantis, it all came back to that picture. Caldwell was determined to find the truth. He owed Sheppard this much.

A few minutes later the requested Atlantis members were seated around the large wood conference table. Caldwell and his entourage remained standing on the opposite side. His people stood just a step behind and to the right from where Caldwell stood looking at the Lanteans.

"I don't know if you've had time to read through all the new mandates the IOA has issued but…"

"Excuse me Colonel," Woolsey interrupted. "If I may, after what you mentioned briefly in my office the other morning about the new mandates I set them aside. I'd thought I'd wait until Colonel Sheppard was back on full duty before going over them with the senior staff. I was in the process of scheduling a meeting to that effect in another day or two."

"I see. Unfortunately I have my orders. They're time sensitive so this can't wait any longer." _As it is I've already wasted a day_ he said to himself. "One of the new IOA mandates requires an annual impromptu audit. I have been tasked to audit Atlantis. I will need the full cooperation of all Atlantis personnel over the next few days. Mr. Woolsey, please inform the expedition that they are to comply completely, turn over any documents requested without delay and answer all questions directed to them by the auditors." Richard gave the Colonel a nod of acknowledgement. "Dr. McKay, Dr. Novak has been assigned to audit the Science Division. Please give her and her team full access. With your full cooperation it shouldn't take too long and you and your staff can get back to what it is you do best."

Dr. McKay took that as his dismissal. "Of course. Come on Novak…times a wastin'." The room was so quiet that everyone heard Lindsey Novak hiccup which was normal for her when she got stressed. But after all these years working together McKay had learned to shove that irritation to the back of his mind. Novak saluted her commanding officer and dutifully followed McKay from the conference room.

"Dr. Beckett, I understand that you are in charge of the infirmary while Dr. Keller is on emergency leave back on Earth."

"Aye, that is correct."

"Dr. Reynolds, my ships Head of Medicine, has been assigned to audit the infirmary. He'll need access to all in-service inventory as well as trade-service inventories, staffing charts, patient files and anything else he requires. Please inform the staff we'll try not to be in the way in case of an emergency. The IOA has also selected at random twenty-five expedition members whose medical files will be audited. I understand there are Doctor/Patient confidentiality concerns but the Non-Disclosure agreement everyone signed when they joined the Atlantis Expedition allows for any member of _**any**_ medical staff within the SGC/IOA jurisdiction to review files without further patient consent."

"I understand completely Colonel. Atlantis operates a well-managed and efficient infirmary. Dr. Keller would tell you so herself. I don't think Dr. Reynolds will find anything out of place. We pride ourselves in keeping a very good account of things."

"Very well Doctor you're dismissed." Replied Caldwell. As Beckett and Reynolds left the room he turned his attention to Major Lorne. "Major, Captain Kleinmann will be preparing the audit on the military. I understand that you are filling in for Colonel Sheppard at this time so please see to it that Capt. Kleinmann has authorization for what he requires. Any questions?"

"No Sir."

"Then you're both dismissed. Now, Mr. Woolsey, that leaves mission reports and communications. Major Marks will be handling the communication logs and I will need access to all mission reports for the last month. And if you have no objections, we will set up in here until this audit is completed."

"By all means Colonel. Major if you'd come with me I'll have Sgt. Campbell get you the required logs. Col. Caldwell which would you rather have; hard copies of the mission reports or electronic copies? I tend to find myself leaning towards hard copies. I can't seem to get used to everything here being electronic. I guess it's all those years I've spent with paper; can't seem to let it go."

"Electronic copies will do fine." For the first time since the meeting started Steven pulled out a chair and sat down. Hope hung squarely on his shoulders that he would be able to piece together what was or had been going on since his last visit. If word got back to the SGC or IOA of what Caldwell was doing it could end his career. The mandates were clear. There would be audits, but the auditors would be coming from Earth. Caldwell was taking a big risk here. But the man in his sick bay, barely hanging on to life, deserved better. Caldwell had seen Sheppard put his butt and career on the line for his people many times. Now it was Caldwell's turn to put his butt on the line for Sheppard. It didn't matter that the two men had different command styles. Caldwell's by-the-book approach verses Sheppard's fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants style. Each worked in their own way. That they clashed over protocols and procedures almost every visit didn't matter now. What mattered…was at the end of the day you did the right thing.

Colonel Sheppard was still unconscious this morning when he'd checked on him. There would be no answers coming from him for a while longer.

Though seeing the Atlantis Military Commander with a stone gray pallor, numerous IV lines, blood transfusion, feeding tube, respirator, heart and brain monitors and so much more was almost too much for the seasoned Daedalus Commander to handle. The Lieutenant Colonel's appearance to an outsider might indicate that he'd been in battle. Not recovering from the 'mild concussion' that he'd been informed about. Steven's mind kept going back to 'why'. Why had this happened? Who allowed it to happen? When did this all start? What was the cause? Had the expedition turned on Sheppard?

Steven's laptop beeped. He hadn't remembered opening it. The beep was indicating the arrival of the mission reports from the past month. The door to the conference room closed shortly after Major Marks' return. He pulled out the chair next to his commanding officer setting up his laptop with efficiency. Both men looked at each other eyes sharing a single thought 'I hope this works'. Their combined goal was to concentrate their efforts around Sheppard; narrowing the search to a manageable set of parameters. Praying that what they needed would be obvious to find.

oOo

"Major Lorne I'd like to start off with the munitions supply inventories. While I'm working on those if you could pull this list of reports I would really appreciate it. Oh, is there a place where I can work with little interruption to you and the military?" Captain Kleinmann handed the Major a data stick with a long list of reports. (Training evaluations, Duty Rosters, Base Security, Security Protocols, Puddle Jumper Logs, Leave Requests, Team Assignments, Clothing Allowances and much, much more.)

"You can use the room next door. We use it for strategy sessions." Lorne made a motion for the Captain to follow as he spoke.

"Don't you mean 'bullshit' room?" Kleinmann stated with a sparkle in his eye. There seemed to be some tension radiating from the Major and Kleinmann felt he needed to diffuse it. Maybe this was the Major's first audit and was nervous.

"You have one of those onboard the Daedalus?" Evan inquired in return.

"Of course. I haven't had a posting yet that didn't have one. What about you?"

Lorne smiled wide shaking his head in the affirmative. "Same. I'll get these ready for you."

"What's it like working with Colonel Sheppard? Scuttlebutt on ship says he's pretty unorthodox sometimes and lax on military protocol. A lot of the guys have put in for transfers." Kleinmann stated offhandedly.

"For the most part it's been fine." Lorne closed the door as he left not wanting to discuss the Colonel any further.

oOo

Lieutenant Doctor Lindsey Novak divided her audit of the Science Dept. into several key areas. Since science encompassed such a wide variety of fields: Astrophysics, Botany, Metallurgy, Anthropology and so forth, her plan was to assign each of her teammates to a department while she took the challenge of going over the broader scope of the department as a whole. "Would you produce a list of all department heads so I can assign…_hiccup _…my team accordingly? And a list of your current on-going projects… _hiccup_. I guess I should…_hiccup_…start with your…_hiccup_…budget. How you allocate funds to the many…_hiccup_…departments you oversee." Dr. Novak stated.

"Yes…yes…fine." Rodney snarked pulling up his admin files from the computer that almost never left his office. "Here you go. As you can see I used a complex algorithm to determine how much each department is awarded based on their overall contributions to the betterment of science." _Translation, the department that screws up the least gets the most funding._ "It's my version of an incentive program."

"_hiccup_…Dr. McKay, I don't believe that is a satisfactory…_hiccup_…way to run a department."

"If you had to deal with the people here who call themselves scientists on a daily basis you would be doing the same thing. I'm supposed to get the 'best' and the 'brightest' that Earth has to offer and yet they keep sending me these…these…idiots! I'm guessing they got their degrees out of a Cracker Jack box! No reputable school would allow these dunderheads to even wipe off the chalkboard."

"I'll take that into consideration. May I work…_hiccup_…in here?" Lindsey inquired of the CSO. She'd observed in her past visits to Atlantis and to Lab One that Dr. McKay spent most of his time out in the lab part. She felt confident that he wouldn't mind her using his office therefore made the reasonable request.

"Yes of course. I'll do whatever it takes if it will get you out of my lab and back to the Daedalus sooner. I'm sure Hermiod is downright bereft that you're gone."

Lindsey Novak looked over the top of the laptop she'd been studying giving McKay an awkward look.

oOo

"Doctor you have a very nice facility set up here. I'm impressed." Commented Doctor Phillip Reynolds coming to the end of the tour Dr. Beckett had taken him on.

"It serves the purpose. Now what would ya like to start on first?"

"Since you're offering, let's start with the IOA's randomly picked medical files. Here is the list of names that was forwarded to me with my objectives." Phillip turned over a data stick which Beckett plugged into the first data pad he came too.

Scanning the list of names Carson uttered an, "Oh dear."

"Is there a problem Dr. Beckett?"

"No…not such as one I suppose…no. But this name here…Corporal Teeters, he died five weeks ago when his team was caught in a Wraith culling. I'm afraid there's nothing left but ashes to send home to his family. And Bersen here is down in the morgue awaiting transport back to Earth."

"That's alright Doctor, my objective is to evaluate their file, not the person. I just need to be able to determine whether or not the patients care was handled properly. No excessive drugs or unnecessary tests. That sort of thing."

"Aye. I suppose you're right. I just hate losing 'em. And since we've gotten here we've lost too darn many in my opinion. I'll call up the files and you can use this data pad if you like or I can transfer the files to you."

"If you'd transfer the files to me that would be great. Do you feel this way about all the expedition members Doctor?"

"Aye, I do. They're all my lad and lassies."

Phillip nodded, "do you mind if I use that little room off the lab to work in?"

"That would be fine. I'll have Carole set it up with a few amenities. While she does that I'll get started transferring the files along with pulling the inventory lists, staff schedules, duty rosters and the like, like you talked about."

"Thank you Doctor Beckett."

oOo

Steven Caldwell rubbed at his temples once again. It was the fifth time Major Marks had caught him doing that in the past hour. The mission report Caldwell was reading was the last filed by Colonel Sheppard and his team two weeks ago. Ronon's account of the mission was short and sweet. The Satedan wasn't big on words. Teyla's report was a bit more detailed with perspective of the village. Sheppard's report collaborated Teyla's. The villagers were sick. Dr. McKay's report on the other hand was filled with innuendos, attacks against Sheppard's leadership and decision making abilities. Assumptions. None of it was making sense to the seasoned officer. Caldwell could tell he was still missing something…but what?

"Colonel, are you alright? Should I contact Dr. Reynolds?" Asked the Major.

Major Marks had been combing through the communications logs concentrating on any entries to or from Colonel Sheppard in the past two weeks. The logs showed numerous such contacts then within days died off substantially. With more dropping as the days progressed. It started out upwards of around 125 vocal contacts or more, died down to barely eighty and then progressively further down until in those last few days prior to his mild concussion he was only receiving or sending five or less. Finally it came down to one. At the same time his e-mail traffic increased over the last few days, but dropped after his concussion. Marks thought this was an odd pattern.

"I think I may have something here but I'd like to confirm it with Colonel Sheppard first. It was their last mission thirteen days ago."

"Thirteen days ago…would put that around the 27th." Marks muttered more so to himself while he brought up the comm's data. "Yes…that would make sense. Fourteen days ago and prior the radio traffic for Colonel Sheppard's comm link specifically indicates the Colonel was receiving and or sending approximately 125 or more radio calls per day. In some instances upwards to a hundred and fifty radio calls per day. The very next day the traffic died down by about one third of that. The logs indicate that most of that one third drop off originated from the science division. Each subsequent day since less and less calls were directed to Colonel Sheppard. Over time even the military chatter decreased. At the same time Colonel Sheppard's e-mail traffic picked up. Going from approximately twenty e-mails a day: mostly notification of meetings and mission approvals to seventy plus e-mails. It appears every order was given via e-mail, every question was asked and answered by e-mail and so on. Now five days ago both e-mail and comm traffic stopped. I did find an outgoing radio call to the mess hall at 11:54 am on the 6th, duration was twenty-seven seconds. Two days ago there was another outgoing signal to the infirmary at zero four twenty one hours. Lasting forty-two seconds."

"Excellent work Major. Can you get me specific details?"

"Yes Sir."

"Good, then I want you to follow up on the radio call to the mess hall. I'll brief Dr. Reynolds and have him follow up on the second radio transmission." Caldwell had the beginnings of a picture forming in the back of his mind. Not a very pleasant one however. Now he just needed Sheppard to either confirm or deny his hunch.

Tapping his radio he summoned Dr. Reynolds to the conference room. A few minutes later the two men were deep in discussion over what each of them had already uncovered.

oOo

Before Reynolds could go back to the Atlantis infirmary to follow up on the radio call his own radio beeped in his ear. Dr. Morris was reporting in, Colonel Sheppard showed signs of waking. Immediately both the Doctor and Daedalus Commander beamed back up to the ship.

Colonel Caldwell copped a chair outside the ICU ward waiting for Reynolds to allow him in. It wasn't much of a ward. Two beds set up in a special room with every imaginable monitoring device known to modern Earth medicine for both patient and staff.

The door opened and Caldwell jumped to his feet. "Colonel Sheppard regained consciousness momentarily but has gone back to sleep. He was disorientated at first naturally but calmed once I told him where he was and that he'd be feeling better in a few days."

"Would it be okay if I sat with him?" The Commander asked impulsively. Dr. Reynolds gave his request scrutiny. It was so unlike the rigid Commander.

"I don't have a problem with you sitting with him. You won't be able to interrogate him if he wakes up. He's still intubated to take some of the stress off his lung. However, a friendly, familiar face may keep his panic level down should he wake again. I don't know if you've ever had a tube down your throat but it feels like you can't breathe. It's best if he stays calm and limits his movements right now."

"If calm is what he needs then I would be the last person he'd want to see when he woke up." Caldwell returned only partially joking. He and Sheppard had had their moments, their differences of opinions on how the military should operate, but over the years they agreed to disagree and keep their interactions professional. Steven couldn't ask one of his teammates to sit with the pilot after the report he'd just read of their last mission. And Hermiod still hadn't forgiven the Lt. Colonel for his 'naked' comment. Steven also knew that waking in a strange place with no familiar friend or family member in sight would be stressful.

Phillip showed the Colonel into the ICU ward. Caldwell wasn't sure what to expect in the coming hours. He took up residence in the chair beside the bed to keep a vigilant watch while he continued to read through the reports he had been given.

oOo

Atlantis's halls were fairly quiet at four am say for the passing Marine guard every now and again. Dr. Reynolds beamed into the city early to test the proficiency of the infirmary staff during a medical emergency. It was part of the standards set by the IOA mandate. At least that's what he kept telling himself. And this was going to be his second infirmary mock drill.

After Colonel Sheppard woke the first time Phillip left Caldwell sitting vigil while he had beamed back into the city in the late evening to conduct his first drill. He chose a remote spot out on one of the furthest piers reporting a head trauma case and used his stopwatch to time how long it would take. The medical crew had shot through the door at a run. Gurney, loaded with a back board and C-collar along with standard medical gear, two nurses and a doctor. Dr. Reynolds noted the response time: seven minutes twenty-two seconds, right underneath the minute and twelve second verbal conversation he had with the on-duty nurse. He had thought, _Well Done_.

This morning, Sergeant Ortiz was playing the role of victim. He had been released the previous day, hand in tack but bandaged, and agreed to take part in the second mock drill.

At zero four twenty-one he radioed the infirmary. "I'm in trouble……I need a doctor." He said into his comm link.

The infirmary duty desk person replied. "What is the nature of the emergency?" The woman's voice was warm, caring and calm in her inquiry.

"I don't know." Ortiz allowed a long pause as instructed. "Pain…can't breathe."

"Alright don't panic. I want you to take slow breaths as deep as you can without causing more pain. Can you tell me where the pain is coming from?"

Sergeant Ortiz looked to the Doctor standing next to him with wide eyes asking for help. When he'd been approached to help the Doctor he had been supplied him with what to say and how fast to say it. Reynolds shook his head indicating how the Sergeant should answer.

"No."

"Do you have abdominal pain?"

Reynolds mouthed the words 'I don't know' while Sgt. Ortiz verbalized them. "I don't know."

"Does your chest hurt?"

"I need help." Sgt. Ortiz answered after reading a scribbled note from the Doctor next to him.

"Did you fall?"

"It hurts." Coached Dr. Reynolds.

"Did you break any bones?"

"No."

"Are you bleeding?"

Another head shake from the Doctor and Ortiz answered with a, "No."

"Are you sitting down?"

A confirming head shake from the Doctor this time. "Yes."

"Good, that's good. A med team is on their way to your location now. Just remain calm. Help is on the way." Her voice was just as reassuring as her words.

Dr. Reynolds looked down at his stopwatch and saw that just over a minute had elapsed during the brief conversation. The stopwatch was still ticking away the seconds counting the time it would take for the infirmary to mobilize a med team, push a gurney through the halls and arrive at his carefully chosen location.

A clanking sound echoed from down the hall and soon a doctor and two nurses rounded the bend in the corridor towards their potential victim. When the gurney came to a stop Dr. Reynolds clicked off the stopwatch and noted the time. Three minutes and seventeen seconds from time of call to location. _Excellent_ he thought to himself.

"Well done everyone, well done. Sergeant Ortiz you are excused and thank you for playing our injured victim. Doctor, Nurses, you made excellent time. Just over three minutes. Even on the Daedalus our response time to an emergency at this distance is over four. But we do have bulkheads we have to navigate over now and again. This exercise is over and you may all return to your duties. I'll see you all later this morning. Thank you." And with that, the Daedalus Doctor walked away with a smile leaving three stunned and breathless medical staff in his wake.

oOo

"Good Morning, Dr. Reynolds. I understand you put the staff through their paces again earlier this morning." Carson stated with mild amusement.

"I did and the staff performed well. All within proposed guidelines. I've noticed that there are no patients today. Would right now be a good time to get some questions out of the way? If at all possible I'd like both shifts to join in. It shouldn't take much time."

"I'll gather everyone up. Would this area do?" Carson asked gesturing to the empty infirmary area they were standing in.

"This area is perfect in fact." Phillip replied. Carson was doing a great job of corralling the staff. "If you would, I'd like the night shift personnel to my right and the current day shift to my left. Thank you. Now that we're all here I just want to say for everyone's benefit that the night shift did an excellent job on the mock drill earlier this morning." He praised this team just as he had done for the late evening shift who'd responded to the mock pier head trauma drill. "Give yourselves a hand."

Small applause and pats on the backs were exchanged. The infirmary staff looked pleased with each other and themselves. Carson was beside himself with pride. While he had, or rather the 'real' Carson Beckett, had been in charge he had hand-picked each and every staff member. Though he was just the clone of the real Carson, the staff treated him no different for which he was grateful. There were a few new faces that Dr. Keller had hired but all in all, he and the staff got along great together.

"My first question goes to Nurse Sheila Edwards. Last night you took the emergency call from Sgt. Ortiz. Since I was not here to oversee how you handled things, could you please explain to me what you did? How you knew where to send the medical team."

Sheila was a veteran nurse having been around the block a few times in her career. If you had to guess just by looking at her, you would say she was in her early forties. In reality, Sheila was in her late fifties but could keep up with the younger staff members and she offered a wealth of experience and knowledge to anyone who asked.

"When a call comes in the desk nurse is responsible for answering. Dr. McKay and Dr. Zelenka wrote a program that intertwines with our radio system. If the words: help, sick, medical, emergency, doctor, dying…well there's a whole list of key words and phrases, if any of those words are spoken the interface pinpoints the caller and paints a yellow dot on the Atlantis map within seconds. While the desk nurse talks to the potential patient gathering details, the desk nurse also coordinates the medical team. Advises them of what equipment might be necessary, and then gives them the location."

"Remarkable. I'll have to check with our engineers to see if a similar interface would work on the Daedalus. Do you always have a standard list of questions you ask?"

"Yes Doctor."

"Thank you Nurse Edwards. My next question goes to the attending, Dr. Hennery. Doctor how long does it take you and your team to gather your medical supplies?"

"We have standard medical supplies that we keep in three bags. They are packed and ready to go at a moments notice...always. All other supplies or potential equipment we grab depends on what the desk nurse manages to obtain from the patient. For example, if the nurse discovers the patient fell down stairs we would grab a C-collar, backboard and splints. If the nurse indicates the patient is having trouble breathing, we grab an oxygen tank. All our emergency medical gear is stored in one room. The transport gurneys as well; that way we never have to go looking for one. We keep two complete sets of gear ready and as soon as we return any supplies used from our packs are immediately replaced."

"Thank you. That was very thorough. I believe that is all the questions I have for the night shift. Thank you again for staying. The night shift may all leave." As the night shift exited the desk nurse excused herself. Unbeknownst to those remaining, Dr. Reynolds had clicked the stopwatch in his pocket to time the nurse. He watched her walk to bed six and pull back the curtain. To her surprise there was an expedition member holding their hand exposing a small cut.

At breakfast in the mess hall Miko had managed to cut her finger. Reynolds was close by and looked the cut over when he had an idea pop into his head. Miko agreed to help out and he'd snuck her into the infirmary when no one was looking. He hid her behind curtain six until the time was right to press the call button. He figured when he dismissed the night shift the day shifts attention would be split and a perfect opportunity to see how they performed. It had taken the nurse thirty seconds to walk from the nurse's duty desk to bed six. A second day nurse took position up behind the desk. Miko's cut was cleaned and bandaged and Miko was sent on her way with thanks from Dr. Reynolds.

"Nurse Montoya how did you know there was someone at bed six?" Doctor Reynolds asked.

"I didn't. At least I wasn't expecting anyone to be there. Here at the nurse's desk we have indicator lights that come on when the call button is pressed. Originally I thought the call button had fallen off the bed. Sometimes when that happens they activate. The buttons are very sensitive."

"Nurse Baylor what time is breakfast served to the patients?"

Neal answered quickly. "Zero seven hundred hours, Doctor. First shift and third shift overlap by one hour allowing for enough personnel to get everyone's breakfast and basic needs taken care of."

"And what if the patient is not awake at that time?"

"Then the breakfast is held back in a warmer or chiller we have until the patient wakes."

"Nurse Freisen, when Nurse Montoya left the desk area to see about bed six I noticed you moved into position. Why?"

"The nurse's duty desk is manned at all times Doctor. If one nurse leaves to assist with a patient one of the remaining nurses covers. It's SOP for us who work in the infirmary."

"Thank you. When a patient is released to their quarters to convalesce say with a broken leg which still requires elevation how does the patient get their meals?"

"That would be me…well the Chief Medical Officer in charge anyway. The CMO contacts the mess hall and arranges for food to be delivered by one of the mess staff, usually Sara. We know the patients allergies and whether or not they are up for soup or regular full meals. Sometimes, if the medical staff has to check on the patient, say for wound care/dressing changes, they will stop by and pick it up on their way."

"How do you keep track of which patients are recuperating in their quarters?"

Nurse Neal Baylor answered that one. "We have an electronic reminder. Once the patient information is entered into the program, thirty minutes before meal time a reminder pops up on our screen."

"Does this electronic reminder ever fail? Like from a dead battery."

"No Doctor, the reminder application is tied into a naquadah generator as is all of our monitoring equipment: EKG's, Call Buttons, Pulse-ox monitors and the like."

"Impressive. Thank you Nurse Baylor. I believe that is all the questions I have at this time so I'll let you all return to your daily routines." Phillip returned to the small office space he'd commandeered yesterday. Once he was out of sight he had himself beamed back to the Daedalus.

oOo

"Reynolds to Col. Caldwell."

"Caldwell."

"Sir if you have time I'd like to meet with you and Major Marks."

"That's fine. Come to the bridge conference room."

Phillip was the last to enter the conference room all ready in mid-sentence stating his apology for taking longer than expected. He'd stopped by and checked on Colonel Sheppard first who was struggling against the respirator. Phillip had no choice but to remove it replacing it with a mask.

"Major the call to the infirmary at 04:21 hours, how long did it last?" Phillip asked as he slipped into one of the free conference room chairs.

"Forty-two seconds."

"I conducted a mock drill this morning at precisely the same time and learned two things. The staff that was on duty the night of Colonel Sheppard's call was the same staff working earlier this morning. I had Sgt. Ortiz say the exact same wording as Colonel Sheppard, to an extent, and the communication took over a minute. When I asked the nurse if she always asked the same round of questions she confirmed she did. Now Colonel Sheppard was in pain, weak and having trouble breathing. I don't see him spouting answers to her numerous questions in 42 seconds. Do we have her side of the conversation, Major?"

"If you can supply me with her name I can get it. Up till now I've been concentrating on Colonel Sheppard's communications."

"What was the other thing you learned Doctor?" Caldwell asked.

"I stationed Sgt. Ortiz at about the same distance as Sheppard's quarters are from the infirmary: same number of hallways, same number of transporters. It took the emergency medical crew three minutes and seventeen seconds to reach us. From what we know so far there was no medical crew dispatched to his quarters. I've found no record of the event. Why? He was in pain and barely breathing for five additional hours before someone found him. I want to know why and I want somebody's head for this!" Phillip Reynolds shouted, realizing his voice had gone up a few octaves.

"Easy Doctor. We'll get to the bottom of this but first let Marks here find the transcript of the nurse's conversation."

"Done Sir.

**Sheppard:** I'm in trouble. (pause) I need a doctor.

**Marks:** There are a few seconds delay in responding.

**Nurse:** What is the nature of the emergency?

**Sheppard:** I don't know.

**Marks:** There's a long pause here before the Colonel continues.

**Sheppard:** Pain…can't breathe.

**Nurse:** I'll send someone.

"That's it? Nothing else? No questions?"

"No Sirs. That's the whole 42 second conversation." The Major added.

"I want her arrested this instant!" Shouted the now red faced angry doctor. "Before she does this to someone else!"

"I will Doctor, I promise. Major, what did you find out from the mess hall?"

"I spoke to Josephine O'Brien, she's the chief cook's first assistant. She recalled the call from Colonel Sheppard but it was during lunch. At the time he called one of the cooks dropped a tray of salads on the floor and she had to handle that disconnecting Colonel Sheppard abruptly. She admitted that she forgot about his request. She did tell me that no one from medical, usually the CMO, requested any food to be delivered to Colonel Sheppard's quarters that day or any previous days. I had her pull up the logs to verify. I guess when the CMO arranges for food to be delivered they tell the cooks what the person can and cannot have and they log it."

"The CMO part is correct. Dr. Beckett confirmed that this morning. No wonder the Colonel didn't want to go to the infirmary when you found him. First he's alienated, then starved and finally left for dead by people he thought he could trust. Colonel I want action taken immediately."

"Is Colonel Sheppard up to talking I'd like to know if there is anyone else before we take the SO's and go back down there. And I believe there is. I posted Sgt. Dixon at Sheppard's door shortly after we beamed into sick bay. At minimum ten minutes elapsed between beam in and he and Marks beam out. In his report he stated one of the medical staff from the infirmary arrived at 10:33 am. Now that was close to an hour after _**I**_ called for emergency assistance. If you say they can respond in three minutes, why did it take this individual almost an hour? And how did he end up with internal bleeding when he was only to have suffered a mild concussion? Marks took pictures of his quarters. There's no indication of a struggle, no tipped furniture and from the way I found Sheppard it appeared to me that he was trying to crawl to his door. I need more answers before I act. But I promise you Doctor I will act. I am not about to sit here and let a good soldier down. Colonel Sheppard deserves more and will get his justice."

"Yes, you're absolutely right of course. I guess we better get all the rotten apples and not just the couple we know about. Dr. Morris said Sheppard's doing much better this morning. I had to remove the respirator since he was fighting it. I think he might be up to a little conversation. And I do mean little."

"Understood. Major, thank you, return to duty and you have the bridge."

"Yes Sir."

oOo

Colonel Caldwell and Dr. Phillip Reynolds entered the ICU room together. As they approached the occupied bed the Doctor scanned the monitors while Caldwell took his place on the left side of the bed. He stood this time instead of taking the chair.

Hazel eyes blinked to clear his vision taking in the two men. Dr. Reynolds was first to speak.

"Colonel, do you think you could answer a few questions for us?"

John nodded his agreement but responded with, "water."

Phillip knew his patient's throat would be irritated by the tube and talking only made that worse. Excluding what coughing would do. Allowing the Colonel a few sips of tepid water the Doctor asked his first question.

"Alright Colonel I'm going to ask some questions, I don't want you to talk unless you have too. Do you know how you ended up with internal bleeding?"

John shook his head no while the Doc gave him another sip of water, slipping the straw underneath the oxygen mask.

"Did you fall in your room? Maybe fall into something? A nightstand, desk…"

"Infirmary." John rasped.

"You fell in the infirmary." Phillip stated for confirmation.

John shook his head to the affirmative.

"Were you examined after your fall?"

Another head shake to indicate no came from John before he said, "room."

Both the Doctor and Caldwell had bewildered expressions on their face. John knew they didn't understand. In a scratchy voice his words were made worse by the mask covering his face he said, "wanted to go to my room."

"Ah." Dr. Reynolds sighed. He'd read in Sheppard's medical file how the Colonel didn't like to stay in the infirmary. This was all making more sense now. "Okay one last question I think. Then you need to rest. We can talk more when you wake up. It's been bothering me since you arrived, Colonel, but why here? Why the Daedalus and not the infirmary? Atlantis has much better equipment."

John thought about what to say to that. Better equipment…yeah…but everyone disliked him at the moment. He hadn't really wanted to say he was scared either—terrified might have been a better word but he didn't want to say that either. All his adult life he tried not to be frightened of anything. Even coming to Atlantis and facing down life sucking vampires hadn't really scared him. John took longer to think about his answer to this question. He really wasn't up to answering. After several minutes the Doc took pity on him giving him an out. Telling him he needed to rest.

Fumbling with the bed controls Dr. Reynolds got what he needed. "Here's the call button. Matt will be in to check on you periodically, but if you need him or me before then just press the button."

"And someone will come?" John asked cautiously.

A grim look appeared on the Doctors face as well as Caldwell's. "Yes. Go ahead and try it."

Skeptically John pushed the call button the Doctor had placed in his hand. Seconds later Matt was at his bedside with a confused, but helpful look. John let go of some of the unease he hadn't been fully aware he was holding on to. The memory of no one coming to his aid the last time was foremost in his mind. One last exhale saw him into a restful slumber.

The three men reconvened in the Daedalus' bridge conference room. Armed with new information supplied by Colonel Sheppard; Marks, Caldwell and Reynolds gathered the remaining pieces of the puzzle. They formulated a time-line of events, list of staff and poor actions.

oOo

John woke in stages. He could feel the sudden pressure and release on his arm from the BP cuff. The beep, beep, beep of monitors, and a rustling noise coming from his left. He could also hear the internal hum of the ship he was on. His right hand found the call button that the doctor had placed there hours ago and pressed it. In the back of his mind he hoped someone would come. His throat was dry and sore and the thought of cool liquid soothing it would be nice.

To a trained professional's eye the monitors gave away John's desire to wake. The nurse was watching the monitors from outside the ICU area. He recognized his patients return to wakefulness and had already been in the process of getting a few ice chips even before the call light activated. A helpful smile adorned his face as he approached the occupied bed caring a small cup.

"I'm here Colonel Sheppard. What can I do for you?" Nurse Matt Matthews asked in a caring tone.

Caldwell hadn't a clue the young man was awake. He must have dosed off. After several hours of hashing out a time-line he had found himself back in the ICU ward watching over Sheppard. The ship's doctor had wanted him to get some rest. It had been a long stressful day for all of them. But instead, Caldwell found himself watching over the sleeping man. From reports turned in by his people on Atlantis it slowly came to light that the Lt. Colonel had had a rough couple of weeks. His staffers doing the audit reported on what they were hearing in passing. It was all conjecture, however, until the Lt. Colonel could confirm or deny what was being said in his absence. Absence; that was another thing that kept bothering him. Not even the Colonel's team had inquired about him. From what he had observed in the past, the Colonel's team was close-knit. Silently Caldwell hoped the Lt. Colonel would wake and feel up to another talk.

He sat up straighter in his chair to watch the exchange between patient and caregiver.

"Thirsty." Came a painful rasp.

"I thought you might be. I have a few ice chips you can have this time. Better than just tepid water in my opinion. And it will help with your sore throat much more." Matt held the spoon next to his bottom lip waiting for the Colonel to open so he could slide the cool chip in. The Colonel didn't seem all that awake just yet.

Once the ice was in relief was instant and John sighed gratefully.

"I'll leave the cup here. Col. Caldwell can give you another spoonful in a few minutes but you can't over do it. Remember what the doctor told you earlier."

"Mem…ber." By this time John had managed to work his eyes open.

"Don't wear him out Colonel. He still needs lots of rest. I'll just be outside the door if either of you need me. Just use the call button." Matt reminded them both before leaving.

Caldwell nodded in understanding. Steven was content to just sit and keep watch but another part of him wanted answers. Answers to all the questions he had running around inside his head.

John forgot there was someone else nearby until the nurse spoke to him directly; though he vaguely recalled the rustling sound from earlier. He was just so damn tired. John carefully moved his head covered in electrodes so he could see Col. Caldwell. "Thank you." He whispered.

"For what Colonel?"

"Finding…me…in time…" John broke off with a cough. Not only did it hurt his throat but his abdomen joined in this time almost taking his breath away.

Colonel Caldwell stood to scoop up an ice chip. "Here." The spoon slipped in and the Colonel looked relieved. "Better?" John gave a confirming nod. "You should rest now, get your strength back. I've got your back."

John nodded knowing he would be safe here with the Colonel watching his six. It was odd having the Colonel look after him, but he'd take what he could get right now.

oOo

Caldwell stayed until midnight watching over Sheppard before calling it a night. Tomorrow was going to be another stressful day.

Rested, showered and three cups of coffee later Caldwell returned to the ICU ward where he found Dr. Reynolds removing the EKG and EEG leads and monitors from a still sleeping Lieutenant Colonel.

"How is he doing this morning?"

"Better…much better. Brain function has been normal. His heart strong—I'm not showing any signs of decreased muscle activity there. His kidneys are functioning well within parameters. I'd say you found him just in time. I don't think he'll have any problems later on at all." Concluded the Doctor.

"Good to know."

Dr. Reynolds and Col. Caldwell were both taken back at the soft raspy voice that interjected itself into their conversation. Both men had thought the Lt. Colonel was sleeping.

"Good Morning, Colonel. How are you feeling?"

"Tired and I just woke up." Reynolds understood that completely. From the amount of blood loss it would have taken several days to recover from just that alone. Malnutrition just compounded his recovery. Reynolds adjusted the bed allowing the Colonel to be in a slightly upright position.

"That will pass in time. Terry is going to bring you some broth from the galley. I think it's time we get you started on the road to more solid foods."

"Are you taking this out?" John lifted a heavy hand towards the nasal gastric tube.

"No, sorry. That stays in a while longer. When you're stronger we'll take it out. But Dr. Morris and I both agree that you're up to something that has some taste to it. Albeit broth."

John would do whatever it took to get that tube out of his nose and throat.

"Colonel, do you feel up to talking? Can you tell me what lead up to you being in my sick bay?" Caldwell asked.

"It's my fault, I'm to blame. I made a judgment call on my last mission."

"I've read your last mission Colonel as well as all accounts from your teammates. I don't accept that and neither should you." Caldwell injected. "I've also read my people's reports which include some conjectures. But that's also not what I meant. Can you break down the specific events?"

John nodded knowing that the report he filed was inaccurate. But now was not the time to go into that. He needed to be a little stronger and clear headed. So he continued on. "I got hit on the head. When I came to I heard the guys talking over me how I deserved what I got and should have been more. When the med team arrived I was handled roughly. I tried to let it go, tried not to read so much into their actions. I told myself they didn't mean it." John stopped long enough for the Doc to give him a drink of water. "The nurses wouldn't answer the call button. Beckett berated me for getting out of bed without help, but that was my only option at the time. I didn't mean to trip and fall. I decided then that it would be better all around if I went to my room. I made him take me there. He dumped me off and left." John took another minute to compose himself, not only for what to say, but he just needed a little time. "He didn't follow through with his conditions. No one came to check on me, not that I thought they would, after… Well anyway, when the pain was so bad that I could barely stand it I called for help. I waited but no one came. I tried to make it to my door. That's when…I coughed up all that blood. I…I…for the first time in my life I was truly scared." John paused to get a grip on himself. His shaky hand reached for the tumbler of water but the Doc was much faster and steadier. After taking a few more sips which allowed him needed time to calm himself down he continued his story. "I wasn't even sure I'd heard the door chime. I thought I was dreaming or hallucinating until it chimed again. After all that time someone was actually coming to help me. I wasn't even sure if anyone heard me call out, I was struggling just to breathe. The next thing I remember clearly is you, Colonel, kneeling beside me calling for help. I guess I let my fear get the better of me. I wasn't thinking straight. Sorry if I caused either of you trouble."

"I'm the one who is sorry. You shouldn't have been treated in this manner regardless of what they perceived. We're doctors…we heal no matter what. I'm just thankful that Col. Caldwell got to you when he did." Terry brought in the mug of broth sporting a straw. "Drink as much of this as you can. Terry will help you if needed. Then rest. That's the best thing for you right now."

John tilted his head confirming he understood his orders. Who knew talking took so much energy.

oOo

After leaving Colonel Sheppard in the very capable hands of Nurse Terry Winston, Reynolds and Caldwell left to make some final notations on what they knew to be truth now that Sheppard was able to give his version of events.

After lunch Caldwell beamed back into the city of Atlantis without warning along with four armed SO unit escorts. In the second beam out, Dr. Reynolds, Dr. Morris, two nurses along with three field medics and Major Marks arrived. The gate room personnel were alarmed. The gate room Marines on duty stood ramrod ready. Had there been a Wraith detection? They held their positions with confused looks covering their faces, but none the less ready.

Colonel Caldwell led everyone up the grand stairs, made a silent hand motion to the large group so the majority of the group headed for the conference room. Dr. Morris, the Nurses, Corpsmen and a few Daedalus Marines headed for the infirmary while Caldwell detoured to Woolsey's office. The sound of so many booted feet along with the unannounced beam in had brought Woolsey to his. He met Caldwell two paces inside his office.

"Colonel, what is the meaning of this?"

"In due time Mr. Woolsey. Right now I require you to contact the people on this list and have them report immediately to the conference room. Should they not comply an armed escort will be sent for them. Don't worry about taking the medical staff away, Dr. Morris, Nurses and Corpsmen from the Daedalus will be there shortly to cover things."

Richard looked at the list of names. All of them were medical personnel with the exception of one name. "Is this due to the audit, Colonel? If it is, I assure you whatever you found wrong we will take measures to correct it immediately."

"Just contact those people." The Commander stated firmly without reservation.

"Yes…of course."

It took some time to assemble the names from the list. As the members arrived they were told nothing and were requested to take a seat. Once everyone was accounted for Col. Caldwell began.

"I know you're all wondering why you've been summoned here. It will be explained in full detail over the course of the next few hours. I would like to advise everyone that these proceedings are being recorded. You are under no obligation to answer our questions. Grievous negligence has been uncovered by the infirmary audit: Offenses serious enough to force me to convene this inquiry."

"Colonel, I cannot believe what you're saying. Dr. Rey…"

"I'm sorry Dr. Beckett, since Dr. Reynolds discovery of these transgressions I feel as senior advisor of this audit I must take action immediately. Adams, Rodriquez and Dae please stand." There was a shuffle of chairs and the nurse, medic and Doctor stood. "Yes or no. On September 4th, did you respond to Warehouse 2 where Colonel Sheppard suffered a head injury?"

Doctor Dae looked between his two fellow medical members; knowing that it was in the logs that they responded so he answered the question on behalf of the three of them. "Yes."

"Doctor Dae, the call for emergency medical assistance came in at 14:37 hours according to the logs. Your team arrived on site at approximately 15:33 hours. Some 55 minutes after the call came in. Why did it take your team 55 minutes to respond?"

Dae swallowed hard. "It took that long to get to Warehouse 2. The warehouse _**is**_ located on the southern most pier, Colonel."

"Dr. Dae would you believe me when I say that it only takes 7 minutes from the infirmary to Warehouse 2? Records indicate that there were no malfunctions of any kind to the transporter system on said date. Now would you like to recant your previous statement?"

Caldwell and the rest of the room fell silent waiting. Dae, Adams and Rodriquez made no attempt to respond.

"I'll take that as a no Doctor. Doctor Reynolds has a few questions to ask now."

Phillip stood up, heaved a calming breath then asked. "Doctor, are you aware that head traumas are serious?"

"Yes."

"Were you aware that Colonel Sheppard suffered from a head trauma when you and your team responded taking 55 minutes to get there?"

Doctor Dae remained silent as did the nurse and medic.

"I see. Is roughing up a head trauma patient standard medical practice?"

"No! What are you implying? My team responded, we assessed Colonel Sheppard and brought him back to the infirmary for further evaluation."

"I'm implying _Doctor_, and I use that title lightly, that you and your team purposely took your time reaching your patient and once there exerted more force than necessary getting Colonel Sheppard assessed and onto the gurney."

"What is your evidence?" Doctor Dae asked with a dour expression.

"My evidence was found on the Colonel's arms and legs. Fingernail marks along with bruises. Is that evidence enough for you!?" Shouted Dr. Reynolds, at which point Col. Caldwell had a firm grip on the doctor's wrist.

Caldwell stood. "I think we've heard enough. Nurse Adams, Medic Rodriquez and Doctor Dae you are confined to your quarters until further notice and will remain under guard until such time as formal charges can be brought against each of you. I'd advise you take this time to amend your reports as to why it took you 55 minutes to respond to a medical emergency. Sergeants." Three Daedalus Security Officers stepped forward and followed the three back to their quarters.

"Nurse Neal Baylor please stand. Were you or were you not on desk duty the morning of September 5th, the day after Colonel Sheppard was admitted with a mild concussion? A yes or no will suffice."

"Yes."

Before Caldwell could ask his next question, the Doctor jumped in. "Why did you not answer his call light?"

"I didn't see any call light, Doctor."

"What about the second time he pushed the call button? Or the third time?"

"I didn't see any call light." Neal answered firmly.

"That's odd because the call button works, the light at the desk works and you, yourself, told me that there is never a fault since the indicators are hooked into a back up naquadah generator. Would you like to amend your earlier response?"

"Neal?" Carson Beckett muttered. He was having a hard time believing that his hand-picked staff was derelict in their duties. Now he understood the Colonel's demanding mood better.

"Are you aware that there is a sub-routine that logs each time a call button is used; the duration between presses and from which infirmary station it was used." Dr. Reynolds couldn't believe his luck when Major Marks found that routine when they were putting together the final time-line of events after speaking with Colonel Sheppard earlier that morning. Had he not discovered it, Nurse Baylor might not have been caught.

"Lieutenant, please escort Nurse Baylor to his quarters. Mr. Baylor you are confined until such time as appropriate charges can be filed."

"Yes Sir." snapped the Lieutenant with his hand already on Baylor's bicep.

"Now would Nurse Sheila Edwards please stand. Before we begin Nurse Edwards I must advise you that anything you say today can and will be used against you in a court of civilian law. Though the other medical staff had committed acts against Colonel Sheppard, yours was the most grievous and is presumed punishable by a court of law." Colonel Caldwell stated factually.

"Nurse Edwards, at zero four twenty-one hours on September 8th, you received a call from Colonel Sheppard requesting a doctor. The call lasted only 42 seconds. He told you he was in pain and having difficulty breathing at which time you told the Colonel you would send someone. We have the communication logs that verify this. Now we both know that no medical aid was rendered until the Colonel was beamed up to my sick bay some five hours after his call for help. Your negligence in dispatching a medical team to the Colonel's room in inexcusable. I'd like to know why, but you are under no obligation to answer." Stated a very angry Dr. Phillip Reynolds.

The nurse looked distressed, as she should be. Her whole career thrown away in an attempt to punish the Colonel for something he did that she had only heard about through hearsay. She valued life. Always had. That's why she became a nurse; so she could help.

Carson was reeling with the information. How could the Colonel have difficulty breathing and pain from a mild concussion? "Sheila? Why Lass?"

"I'm sorry Dr. Beckett. He deserves what he got. He should have allowed you to help those people! Everyone thinks so." And then she said no more.

"Sergeants Talb and Murphy, please escort Nurse Edwards to her quarters. Consider yourself under arrest Nurse. Sergeant sweep her room."

"Yes Sir." Rang out from both Sergeants.

"Josephine O'Brien please stand. Ms. O'Brien…" Caldwell began before his Chief Medical Officer leaned in to whisper into his ear. A moment later Reynolds was gone in a flash of light.

"Ms. O'Brien on September 6th you received a call from Colonel Sheppard requesting food. The call lasted 27 seconds at which point I believe you disconnected the call to aid a fellow worker. Is this true?" Asked the Colonel.

"Yes Sir, it is. As I already explained to Major Marks."

"Ms. O'Brien you're dismissed. You may return to work. You will be notified later of any non-judicial punishment. I suggest that in the future you should follow up. Nurse LaCour please stand."

Josie left the conference room ashamed that she had failed to follow up on the Colonel's request after hearing what he had gone through in the days before.

"Nurse LaCour, could you tell me why when I requested an emergency medical team a single medic showed up an hour later? I remind you that you are under no obligation to answer although your actions for sending someone will be taken into consideration."

Robin LaCour said nothing. It was only because the Daedalus Commander requested medical help that she eventually sent someone; although it had taken her most of an hour to decide.

"You are confined to quarters pending charges. Lieutenant, please escort Nurse LaCour to her quarters." Receiving a nod from his Lieutenant, Caldwell pressed on. "Medic Morelli, though you responded to the call once you were made aware by the duty-desk nurse I have no other option but to confine you to your quarters until your case can be reviewed by a JAG panel. Captain please escort Medic Morelli to his quarters."

The only people remaining were Dr. Beckett, Mr. Woolsey, Major Marks, three Marines from the Daedalus and Colonel Caldwell.

oOo

"Colonel what is going on here?" Reynolds stated as soon as he walked into the ICU ward. Matt was doing his best trying to keep the Lt. Colonel in bed. Under the circumstances, Reynolds was amazed at the strength the Colonel possessed. He wouldn't have fathomed he had the strength of a newborn from all the blood loss. "You can't get out of bed yet and you know that. Now please, lie back." Dr. Reynolds spoke soothingly as he and Nurse Matt gently pressed down on the Colonel's shoulders urging him to lie back down.

John was breathing heavy from the exertion. He'd gotten himself tangled up in the many tubes entering and exiting his body. Phillip reached for the oxygen mask and gently placed it over his patient's mouth and nose. "Breathe slowly. Try to take a deep breath and let it out slowly. You're just a little disoriented." Reynolds cooed.

"Temps 101.7 Doctor." Matt informed along with the Colonel's other vital statistics.

"Colonel, I'm going to check your incision. I think you might have developed an infection. I've been giving you antibiotics since your surgery to prevent this but it doesn't always work. We're going to need a little bit of your blood for testing. Matt here is going to take a sample but it won't hurt. Are you okay with that?"

John nodded his consent. From under the mask John muttered, "I need to talk to Caldwell." He was in his room all over again: the weakness, pain and panting breaths. He needed to talk to the Colonel. "To tell him the truth… Before…Before he…"

"Colonel Caldwell is on Atlantis right now. But when he returns I will have him come see you. Will that be alright?" John gave another nod. "Good, now lie still for me it won't be but a brief look." He advised his patient. "Matt, get me a culture slide kit please."

Matt exited the room to get equipment he needed for the blood draw as well as the culture kit the Doctor needed.

"We're done Colonel. Once we test this culture and your blood I'll know more about what type of infection you have and how to combat it. For the next few hours or so you're going to feel pretty lousy. But you will be okay. Keep the oxygen mask on for as long as you need it and rest if you can. Okay?"

"'kay."

oOo

Rodney sat facing Novak who had taken over his office, his chair and his favorite coffee mug. Novak had been grilling him over some inconsistencies she'd discovered while doing the audit of the science department. "I see you have Dr. Kelly working in the Horticulture department and you have Dr. Hunter working in the Botany lab. How did you come to this arrangement?"

"What's the problem with it?" McKay asked dumbfounded.

"Well for one, Dr. Kelly specializes is Botanical plants. _hiccup_ I would think her talents would be better spent working with the variety of new species of plants you've discovered, while Dr. Hunter's specialty is gardening—Horticulture. His talents would be better suited in the hydroponics lab trying to grow our Earth crops here in Pegasus."

Rodney was flustered. He remembered perfectly those two doctors. Their names made him think of the color green. He was sure he assigned the two green Doctors to the correct departments. _No wonder they didn't make any progress. _"I'll change that immediately. Next question."

"Alright, on your last mission to P1N-060 you mention…_hiccup_…tracing a particle stream. I don't see where in your report you identified it." Lt. Dr. Lindsey Novak questioned. She was down to her last few items she uncovered during her audit.

A bellow of hot air escaped Rodney as he answered yet another one of Novak's questions. They'd been at this for several hours now. With a heavy sigh, "that's because I never got the chance to investigate it. Sheppard pulled the plug on that mission so he could play G.I. Joe and blow the place to smithereens before I got a good enough reading. If we ever get back to that planet I'll be sure to document it for you." Rodney grabbed for his coffee mug in disgust. As he slid his hand around the cooled mug, a page from his unorganized stack of science journals cut his finger. After a howl of sheer pain, "I have to go to the infirmary." He stated to Novak and left the office in a rush.

He needed his hands to do his work. He couldn't allow a paper cut to get infected, get gangrene and be amputated. Not in his line of work; he needed all ten digits.

oOo

Doctor Reynolds beamed back into the conference room after making sure his patient was resting as comfortable as he could considering his rising temperature and newly developed infection. He left Matt sponging down the Colonel in an attempt to reduce his fevered body. Reynolds sent a sample of blood along with a partial sample from the culture to Dr. Morris who was working the Atlantis infirmary. With his help and access to the Ancient Medical Database maybe they could knock this infection out before it got any worse.

Colonel Caldwell was just finishing up his conversation with Director Woolsey when he retook his seat at the table.

"Dr. Beckett I must remind you that you do not have to answer our questions. However…"

"Aye Colonel Caldwell I understand. But I won't be silent. Not after what I've heard here today. You'll get an honest answer out me regardless of the consequences. I can't believe the staff…"

Dr. Reynolds jumped in cutting off the Highland Doctor. "Doctor Beckett, what is the procedure for when a patient falls when in the custody of a medical facility?"

"The patient is checked over by a physician and if warranted x-rays are taken."

"When Colonel Sheppard fell in the infirmary on September 5th, were either of those actions you mentioned carried out?"

"No. No Doctor they were not." Carson stated sadly.

"It is my understanding that Colonel Sheppard argued his release from the infirmary to return to his room. Is this correct?"

"Aye, it is."

"Is it normal procedure to allow a patient with a concussion, mild one at that, to return to his quarters?"

"Not really no, but the Colonel was quite adamant about it. I only allowed it under the condition that he would be checked by the medical staff periodically." Explained Dr. Beckett.

"And was the Colonel checked on by you or the medical staff?"

"I'd have ta look that up. I know I didn't check on the lad but I'm sure one of the other staff did."

"Would it interest you to know that not one of your staff checked on Colonel Sheppard."

"That can't be right." Carson whispered more to himself than to make a statement for the whole group.

"Why did you just drop Colonel Sheppard off at his room without making sure he had his comm link nearby, or a glass of water on his bed table? He was still suffering from bouts of dizziness. Those are common health care courtesies Doctor."

"This is not an excuse by any means, but just after the Colonel and I entered his quarters an emergency call came in. Sgt. Ortiz had been working in the kitchen repairing the disposal unit when his hand got mangled. I was the closest so I rushed off to see what I could do in order to save his hand."

"So saving a hand is more important than saving a life." Doctor Reynolds stated.

Beckett shot out of his seat like he was strapped to a missile. "No! Of course not! The Colonel had a mild concussion he just needed rest and time."

"Are you sure about that? You said you didn't follow up with an exam or x-rays. We've already established that Colonel Sheppard contacted the infirmary stating he was in pain and having difficulty breathing." Dr. Reynolds stated.

Dr. Beckett's head hung down in shame and disbelief at what he was hearing. He'd made a huge mistake in letting the Colonel talk him into being released to his room.

Dr. Reynolds pressed on. "In our Q and A you stated that the CMO contacts the mess hall to arrange food for any patient recovering in his or hers quarters. Why was Colonel Sheppard denied this simple courtesy?"

Carson gave a startled, "What?"

"In reviewing Colonel Sheppard's medical records there were no notations made by you, the acting CMO or any staff member as a matter-of-fact. There were no orders requesting meals, as you've heard confirmed by Ms. O'Brien earlier. There were no orders for follow-up care. No reminders queuing the medical staff."

Carson sat back down heavily into his chair on the verge of a meltdown. He couldn't believe he'd forgotten to order meals or follow-up care for the Colonel. This shouldn't be happening. None of this should be happening.

oOo

A ruckus outside the conference room doors brought everyone's attention together. There were two swift pulse blasts followed by two thuds before one of the doors opened.

Dr. McKay, Teyla, Ronon and Major Lorne entered unasked, unannounced and unwanted.

"Dr. McKay, what is the meaning of this? This is a closed meeting and you and your associates were not invited. And what happened to my men outside?" Demanded Caldwell.

"Ronon stunned them. They'll be fine in an hour or so. And just why wasn't the 'Head of Science' invited? I know more about Atlantis then anyone here! I want to know what is going on. Its bad enough your men are crawling all over this place but I've had to spend the last two days with Novak and her incurable hiccups! This stupid 'audit' isn't allowing any actual work to get done. My staff are all walking around on eggshells. I went to the infirmary to have Carson look at my injury and found your people there instead of him. What the hell is going on in the infirmary Carson? That 'witch doctor' of yours, Caldwell, just blew me off. Said it wasn't a medical problem for a doctor to handle. Well I beg to differ. I need my hands to do my work. Any small injury on this base can turn bad all too quickly. He tossed me a band-aid…a fricken' band-aid. So after he bullied me out of the infirmary I decided to find Lorne to see what in the hell was going on and low and behold he didn't have the faintest idea. He didn't know you were here or even that this meeting was taking place nor had any idea your men were scattered all over the living quarters and in the infirmary and here in gate operations. What the hell is going on around here anyway? Then I decided to inform Sheppard he was losing control over this base but that 'goon' of yours you had stationed outside his door wouldn't let me in to see him. Then when Sheppard didn't answer my hails over the comm link I ran a quick scan of his quarters. Guess what I discovered? He's not in there. A city wide scan for his transmitter signal showed he's not even on the base. Where the hell is Sheppard?!"

Teyla reached a hand out to still her teammate. "You must calm down and breathe Dr. McKay." She told him politely with a hushed undertone in her voice.

Ronon stood with his hand on his blaster just itching for someone to make a wrong move. Lorne looked lost and yet frustrated all at the same time. McKay had valid points and he wanted answers just as much as he did.

The Daedalus personnel in the room, including Caldwell and Dr. Reynolds were amazed that McKay actually used finger quotes to highlight some of his points. This had been the first ever rant that Dr. Reynolds had witnessed coming from the arrogant scientist and was thoroughly astonished he managed to say all that in one breath and with such speed and accuracy.

With a firm, calm, but exasperated voice Caldwell started speaking. The arrogance of the man before him had his cockles raised. "And why are you suddenly worried about Colonel Sheppard?"

"What?...huh…you're not making any sense. Why wouldn't I be worried? Sheppard's missing!"

"Oh I don't know Dr. McKay maybe it's the way you and the rest of the Atlantis Expedition have turned against him, withdrawn from him that gave me the idea you didn't care. He's been onboard the Daedalus for the past three and a half days. You didn't seem to miss him before so why now? Why would I think you're concerned?"

"He's…what…why is he…I didn't…" Rodney sputtered.

"Maybe we should all sit down and let Colonel Caldwell explain; if that would be acceptable with you Colonel and the others?" Teyla offered, calmly bowing her head with graciousness.

"Of course Miss Emmagan." Caldwell swept his hands indicating to take one of the open chairs. Teyla tugged on Rodney's arm to get him moving. Major Lorne sat down with them but Ronon preferred to stand at their back; his hand still on his blaster.

While the newly arrived Atlantis personnel took their seats, Dr. Reynolds checked on the two SO's that had been stunned. Both men were doing well under the circumstances but he called to have one of his medics from the infirmary come to keep an eye on them. Phillip retook his place next to the Daedalus Commander and waited.

Caldwell had taken this opportunity to study the four additional persons who barged into his inquest. Dex looked ready for a fight. Major Lorne appeared to be in control but the bouncing knee under the table gave his calm exterior away. Teyla on the other hand truly looked concerned. She kept a tight rein on McKay's arm. McKay himself looked just plain constipated. Caldwell went over in his head what he wanted Sheppard's team to know. Thinking through how he should approach the information with the least resistance. Seeing that his Head of Medicine had returned he cleared his throat to begin.

"You were not invited to this meeting Doctor McKay because so far freedom of speech is not a punishable offence. Your particular 'expertise' was not needed nor wanted. Discrepancies were uncovered during the infirmary audit: serious enough to warrant that I step in to handle the matter. I'm sorry you don't like the idea of my men here but right now I don't give a damn what you like." Caldwell was blunt and to the point. He didn't hold back his distain for the arrogant scientist. He'd had enough of the man even though it had mostly been through the reading of the last mission report he had filed.

"How dare you…"

Teyla held her teammates arm firmly in her grasp essentially cutting his reply and presumably his accompanying tirade off. She didn't like the way the Daedalus Commander talked down to her friend but her intuition told her there was more to what was going on here. She wanted to know why John had been on the Daedalus. She gave Rodney a glare, its meaning was loud and clear 'keep quiet'. "Please Colonel, continue."

Caldwell tilted his head in acknowledgement. "First off let me say that Colonel Sheppard is resting comfortably from his ordeal of the last few days. Dr. Reynolds and Dr. Morris have taken excellent care of him."

"What ordeal?" McKay asked with less venom then his earlier tirade had encompassed. Teyla continued to keep a firm grasp on his arm grounding him.

Dr. Reynolds opted to answer that question. "Colonel Sheppard was bleeding internally Dr. McKay. When Col. Caldwell discovered him he was having difficulty breathing. My staff and I aboard the Daedalus performed emergency surgery, found and repaired the damage. We almost lost him twice because his injuries were so severe. Colonel Sheppard is now resting comfortably and regaining his strength."

Carson couldn't stop the gasp from escaping his lips. It was making sense now why Dr. Reynolds asked the questions he did. He hadn't followed procedure and Colonel Sheppard paid the price for his negligence.

"How did this happen?" Teyla inquired. Her teammate looked shell-shocked as did most of the room's occupants.

"Miss Emmagan in answer to your question a series of events perpetrated by the occupants of this base led to the Colonel's emergency medical situation." Answered Caldwell.

Ronon straightened from his lean against the wall. "Tell me who they are and I'll take care of them." Ronon gnarled from his position ringing his hand over the butt of his blaster.

"Then you can start with yourself and your teammates Specialist Dex." Caldwell returned sharply.

"What?"

"It started with your last mission to P1N-060. It has come to my attention that there are those who think the Colonel acted inappropriately. Instead of filing a complaint and letting the U.S. Air Force investigate the matter unsubstantiated rumors were allowed to go unchecked and soon all of Atlantis turned their backs." Caldwell stared at McKay the whole time. He hoped the scientist realized he was a major contributor to this situation. Though Mr. Woolsey allowed the accusations to go unchecked, he too was at fault in Caldwell's book. "Eventually those in a position to help or even prevent what happened took it upon themselves to teach the Colonel a lesson. A lesson in what I'm not sure. Over the course of four days Colonel Sheppard received a mild concussion when struck by a construction ladder. A medical team was slow in responding and roughly handled the Colonel. Once in a place where he thought he would be safe and taken care of he again was treated to unkindness thus making his request to leave the infirmary paramount. But before he left he'd fallen and the doctor in charge of his care sought no further examination. This same doctor failed to provide the necessary comforts we take for granted: like food, water and medical care. For three days, most likely longer, Colonel Sheppard went without food. He managed to call the mess hall asking for food but nothing was brought. His friends had abandoned him or should I say his 'team' had abandoned him." Caldwell paused to see if his comment would facilitate a response of any kind. To his dismay the three team members and Major Lorne looked at odds with themselves. "At this point he was still suffering the effects of the mild concussion but with added weakness. He was not able to reach the mess hall on his own accord. Had no one he could call. No one he could count on. Had the medical staff followed up on his care they could have prevented his further decline. On the third day he called for a doctor. He was weakened from blood loss, in pain, having difficulty breathing. He was told someone would come. Five and a half hours after he made a call for help I discovered Colonel Sheppard lying on the floor of his quarters in a pool of his own blood."

The room was stunned in silence. Caldwell made a gesture to Major Marks and a photo taken of the blood pool filled the plasma screen in Technicolor. A collective gasp circulated from the stunned people sitting at the table.

"One of your own had been dismissed. Was what you **'think'** he did worth letting a man die?" Caldwell allowed the occupants to think about it for a minute or two. Underneath he was a ball of flames just waiting for someone, anyone to say something so he could release his fury. However, the room remained silent.

"I think we're done here. Lieutenant Johnson, make a sweep of the doctors quarters. Sergeant Gribbs please escort Dr. Beckett to his quarters. Dr. Beckett you are confined to quarters until further notice. Your infirmary is now under the medical guidance of Dr. Reynolds and his staff until such time as Dr. Keller returns from leave or an adequate replacement is appointed. Mr. Woolsey please inform those members of the Atlantis medical profession not being brought up on charges they can return to duty to help supplement the Daedalus staff. Advise them they will be taking orders from Dr. Reynolds or Dr. Morris. My Security Marines will continue to stand guard in the hallways. I have taken the liberty to ensure those confined to quarters receive meals and medical care if needed. I do not want a repeat of what happened to Colonel Sheppard. Major Lorne you have temporary Command of Atlantis's Military. If you should require any assistance please contact me. The Daedalus will be here for a while longer. As for Colonel Sheppard he will remain on the Daedalus to recuperate under Drs. Reynolds and Morris's care. I'll leave you with one last thought regarding your recent actions."

Caldwell stood, Reynolds stood and Major Marks hit two keys on his laptop before he stood. In a flash of light the three men vanished.

On the plasma screen was another picture in full Technicolor of the blood pool left behind. Only difference was two words had been written with a bloody finger:

_**You're Forgiven**_.

oOo

After rematerializing onboard the Daedalus Dr. Reynolds headed for the lab to check on the Colonel's blood work and culture. The two military men headed in the opposite direction. First order of business after evaluating Sheppard's current condition would be to call the ship's commander down to his sick bay for a check-up. Phillip knew his own blood was boiling and could only imagine that Colonel Caldwell's was too.

Turns out the infection Colonel Sheppard contracted was a strain common to the Pegasus Galaxy. Dr. Morris, who was stationed in the Atlantis infirmary confirmed the diagnosis and had the appropriate antibiotic beamed up. Dr. Morris had stated the antibiotic worked fast so they should expect Sheppard to be back to normal by morning.

His patient was sleeping comfortably.

Caldwell reported to sick bay as ordered. When he arrived he was directed to the nearest bed and told to hop up. After a quick physical the Daedalus Commander was released with orders to take it easy. Caldwell returned those same orders to his Head of Medicine.

The next morning Phillip found John Sheppard wide awake and alert. No sign of any infection.

"How'd you like to get rid of a few tubes?" Reynolds asked after examining his patient.

"As much as I'd like to get rid of the Wraith in this galaxy, Doc."

Phillips chuckled. It was a pleasure to see the Colonel in such high spirits. "Well then, as soon as Matt brings in what I need we'll take care of that NG tube and your catheter. How does breakfast sitting in a chair sound to you? I think it's high time you got out of bed."

"Couldn't agree more Doc."

Matt entered the ICU room carrying a tray covered with a cloth. Doctor and Nurse set about getting everything ready. Dr. Reynolds wasted no time at all getting the NG tube out. After a few gagging breaths later, John was free. The catheter was removed just as swiftly. Getting John into the chair was an act of patience. He was using muscles he hadn't used in about nine days, besides moving pulled on his stitches but the three men persevered. John still sported an IV.

Matt left to get breakfast and Dr. Reynolds stripped the bed of bedding.

"Why didn't you ask what happened?" John stated out of the blue as he watched the doctor work. John figured his doctor must have been a hotel maid at one time or at least an orderly. The bed had perfect military corners.

"I know what happened to you Colonel. You were neglected by the medical staff."

"No, I mean what happened on the mission. The mission that started all this. Why didn't you or Caldwell ask about that?"

Phillip snapped out the light blanket letting it float down onto the bed before answering. "Medically speaking you weren't up to it. You almost died Colonel; twice in fact, while I was trying to save your life."

Matt brought in a breakfast tray positioning it for the Colonel snagging the bundle of soiled bedding on his way out.

"Is Colonel Caldwell back from Atlantis yet?" John asked taking his first bite of real food even if it was runny Cream of Wheat. Not much different from what the NG tube fed him, but at least it had a little flavor and he got to feed himself this time.

"He is. Would you like for me to call him?"

John gave a nod for his reply. The food tasted so good to him. About half way through breakfast Caldwell joined them in the small room glad to see the Colonel sitting up and enjoying some breakfast.

Caldwell sat on the corner of the second bed that was in room. Phillip figured the two men needed privacy.

"Doc, can you stay? What I have to say to Colonel Caldwell needs a third party present. If you're busy maybe you could ask Matt to step in or we could get one of the Marines."

Confusion played across both men faces. "I can stay. Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Take a seat Doc, this could take a while. Colonel if memory serves I believe the Daedalus is equipped with an internal monitoring system. Can it be programmed to record?"

Caldwell wasn't sure so he tapped his radio contacting his communications expert Major Marks on the bridge. A few minutes later Marks radioed back confirming the device was now recording everything being said in the ICU ward section of the ship. Caldwell wondered what could be so significant in the Colonel's report to warrant such measures. For now he would placate to the Colonel's requests. Both Phillip and Steven made themselves more comfortable and John began his tail.

"P1N-060 didn't have a lot to offer in way of scientific discovery or military application. But the MALP sent back an unknown particle stream that McKay said we'd better check out. So we did."

"Colonel, that's all in your mission report. I've read over the report; along with each report submitted by your team members. Although Dr. McKay apparently has not made it easy for you these past couple of weeks; if you're concerned, we'll leave it up to a board of inquiry."

"It's what's not in the file that concerns me. I had every intention of telling you the full details, those which I left out of my report to Mr. Woolsey, right after you arrived…well...right after we brought the 302's down anyway. On my laptop in my room is a date and time stamped copy of my 'official' mission report. Password is: puddle jumper one. Along with a couple other documents you'll need. Colonel Caldwell I respectfully surrender myself for courts martial on the charge I committed genocide."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. The content of this story is solely for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

**Warning: Some graphic descriptions follow that may not be suitable for all readers.**

Chapter 2

Not much shocked a veteran military man like Caldwell, but Colonel Sheppard's statement sure did. He'd seen a lot in his career as an Air Force officer but for him this takes the cake. Genocide: what had the junior officer done? Nothing in Sheppard's report alluded to this sort of thing. Looking over to where the Doctor sat perched on the end of John's bed he too had a similar look of disbelief and disgust all rolled into one.

"Colonel, before you proceed any further I must inform you of your rights. Since you requested to have your testimony recorded it can be used against you if a courts martial is convened."

"Yes Sir. I fully understand my rights and waive them."

"Alright, proceed."

"It started…"

"_Colonel Sheppard you and your team have a go." Richard Woolsey said from high above on the little balcony._

"_Teyla." John stated coming out of the wormhole after his team._

"_Nothing Colonel. I feel no Wraith presence."_

"_McKay." John said next as he watched Ronon secure their perimeter. "Mc…Kaaaayyyy…which way?"_

"_Southeast for the particle stream, but I'm getting life signs to the east. Lots of life signs." McKay changed the setting on the hand held detector to run a series of scans. "Looks like two hours walk southeast. The villagers are about 20 minutes east."_

"_Okay then, Ronon you go with McKay, Teyla and I will say hello to the natives. Radio check every 30 minutes." John pulled out his life signs detector zeroing in on the mass of life signs McKay picked up._

_Confirming McKay's estimate John and Teyla would reach the natives long before Ronon and McKay found the source of the particle stream. At a steady pace the two pairs set out._

_Teyla and John reached the village to find it barely functioning. John was scanning the people he saw taking in their appearances. Two men had a bloody nose. A child was pulling lose her hair in handfuls staring amazedly at the curly brown tufts in her hand. Someone else was lying over a barrel vomiting. The village smelled of sickness. Almost every member in the village had some type of bruising, redness or open sores on their exposed arms, neck, face and hands._

_Teyla scanned the village as well but her attention was drawn to a young woman whose collapse crossing the courtyard had caught her eye. She veered away from Sheppard in order to render aid. John was still cataloging what he saw—reflecting on a time early on in his military career when he'd seen something similar. Teyla was about to reach out a helping hand when John yelled at her._

"_Don't touch her! Teyla get back. Get away from her now!" John yelled running to her location because he saw Teyla wasn't moving away fast enough for his liking. As he reached Teyla he pulled her arm away forcefully—pushing her back to the edge of the village._

"_Colonel?"_

"_They're sick Teyla. All of them." Teyla felt compelled to offer assistance. "Ronon, McKay head back to the stargate now. Teyla will meet you there."_

_An aggravated voice came back through the radio. "We haven't even found the source of the particle stream…"_

"_I don't care. Head to the stargate now. That's an order! Ronon stun him if you have too but get moving." Colonel Sheppard clicked off the radio to end any further discussion. _

"_John, why are you doing this? These people need our help. I can see that they are sick so let us help them."_

"_Teyla, I want you to run to the gate. Once Ronon and Rodney show up dial Atlantis and go home. I have to do something first and then I'll be right behind you."_

_Teyla didn't know what had the Colonel so distressed. "John, what is it? I do not understand. We should help these people. They are sick. Atlantis could…"_

"_No. Atlantis can't help these people. Do as I say Teyla. Don't make me make it an order for you too." She stood with a blank stare on her face. "Go! Get to the gate, dial Atlantis. Go home Teyla. This mission is over. Go home to your son."_

_With a nudge she started running back towards the gate. John could see her looking over her shoulder, back at him and the village until she was out of range._

_John walked into the village carefully stepping around the sick and sickness that lay at his feet. Everywhere he looked he saw sickness. Hopelessness. Open sores, skin blistering, a family fighting over the water pulled from the well, babies crying and mothers weeping as they tried to console. _

_oOo_

_Teyla reached the gate first as she knew she would. She ran the whole way like John had told her. It confused her that John would not allow her to help. Since her time on Atlantis she had been witness to many miracles. Hannah had a beautiful baby boy, strong now even though coming to them five weeks early. Seth's hand was saved after a cut he received became infected. Halling's leg healed much faster with the cast and use of crutches. All her people owed Atlantis their lives. They had powerful drugs that they traded for food stores. Teyla wondered if that was why John wouldn't help this village. It was not prosperous enough. She was brought out of her quandary with the arrival of her two teammates._

_Huffing as if he had run all the way, "what's going on? Where's Sheppard?"_

"_He remained at the village. He instructed me to wait here for you then told me to dial Atlantis. We are to return. The Colonel will follow shortly."_

"_Did the village Priestess sink her claws in him__ again so that he felt he needed to let her down easy?"_

"_No I do not believe that is the case Rodney. The villagers are sick. John would not allow me to help or seek help from Atlantis. A woman fell to the ground not far from me tired and out of breath. The Colonel would not allow me to touch her, to help her back on her feet. He was most adamant."_

"_So let's call Beckett anyway." Ronon suggested._

"_I fear…"_

_John's radio call beeped in her ear cutting her thought off. "Teyla? Is Rodney and Ronon there yet?"_

"_Yes Colonel, they just arrived."_

"_Colonel what is this about the village being sick? Teyla says you don't want Beckett. He's our most experienced Doctor in this galaxy. If this is the Hoffan disease we need him here." Rodney chimed in._

"_Rodney we don't need Beckett on this. I can handle it alone. Just dial the gate and go home. I'll be there soon."_

"_What do you mean you'll handle it? Since when did you get a medical degree Colonel? I'll radio Atlantis and have a medical team here in ten minutes. Sit tight."_

"_No Rodney you won't!" Shouted John through the earwig. "You are going to dial Atlantis and go home! That's it. I don't have time to argue about this with you. Go Home! That's an order!"_

_The three teammates standing at the DHD were at a loss. "Rodney, we must go home as the Colonel wishes."_

"_We'll wait. He said he would follow soon. So we'll wait for 'soon' and all go home together." Rodney looked to his two teammates not sure what to expect from them. He was surprised when they both gave a nod of agreement to wait._

_Over an hour passed and the three teammates were beginning to worry._

_Ronon nudged Rodney's shoulder. "Hey," pointing at the horizon seeing a lone figure standing._

_A rumble of thunder soon rolled over them. On the horizon black smoke billowed into the late afternoon sky. More thunder rolled past, more black smoke filled the sky. More thunder, more smoke until the eastern skyline was filled with darkness rising above the tree line._

_Ronon could see the lone figure turn starting to jog in their direction. When Colonel Sheppard was about a hundred feet from the DHD Rodney was already yelling._

"_What did you do? Did you kill all those people? I can't believe you killed all those people. Carson has been working on a cure. You should have let him help them."_

"_Not now Rodney it's time to go home since none of you can follow orders. We'll be having a talk about that too." John didn't look his teammates in the eye at all. He passed through them, careful not to come into contact with them, to reach the DHD to dial Atlantis; slapping each symbol in the sequence._

"_No, we're going to talk about why you murdered a village full of people." _

"_I didn't…" John seethed in reply but let his thought drop._

"_Hello! Colonel, what planet do you think you're on? Look over your shoulder. See smoke. We…" Rodney made a circling motion between Teyla, Ronon and himself. "…we heard the explosions. We saw the smoke. Even Ronon can put two and two together to get four. How stupid do you think we are anyway?"_

"_Certainly not you McKay." John was reaching for the last symbol in the Atlantean address when Rodney continued._

"_Fine. Then you won't mind Ronon, Teyla and I going back to the village to see for ourselves."_

_John spun around so fast he almost fell over. "No! No one is going back to the village. No one is even going to come back to this planet." John punched the blue half sphere and the gate activated. Once the puddle stabilized he sent his IDC. Atlantis confirmed the shield was down._

"_Move! We're going back to Atlantis now." John waited to see who would move first or if he'd have to pull his side arm on his team, which was the last thing he wanted to do right now. Thank god for Teyla. She took hold of Rodney's elbow lightly pulling towards the waiting stargate. Ronon grunted then followed. _

_Stepping out onto Atlantis with his back turned felt odd. Rodney had already cornered Woolsey between gate operations and his office yelling about blowing up a village, killing, murder, innocent, cure and orders._

"Colonel Sheppard, all that was in the reports I read." Stated a calm Col. Caldwell.

"I know. But the Doc needed to hear that part. And I wanted it on record. Would it be okay if I got back into bed first before I begin again?"

"Certainly Colonel." Dr. Reynolds pressed the call button and Matt came through the door. Between the two medical professionals the Colonel was soon resting in his fresh bed the pressure now taken off his incision by his slightly reclining position.

Once the fuss over getting back into bed was over, John started to recount what was not in his report he had given Woolsey.

"While I sent Teyla back…I stood at the edge of village watching, cataloging."

_An older man with the aid of a cane approached John. "Are you here to help us?"_

_John held up his hands to stop the man from approaching any closer. "I'm sorry. There is nothing I can do to make you and your village well again."_

"_You've seen this disease?"_

"_Yes, back on my home world. But there is no cure for this…disease. This is the most devastating type of 'disease' ever developed by man to use against mankind."_

"_Our healer said something similar. He tried many remedies and nothing worked. All we have been able to do is care for our fellow brethren. Our village was over five hundred strong, now we are half that in numbers. In the first days half our village succumbed to a bright flash of light and are now living with our Ancestors. The other half remain stricken." The villager scanned his once thriving village as sorrow filled his eyes at what had become of it in four days time._

"_Did you send any of your people to other worlds?"_

"_The elders wanted to seek help but we all became too ill to make the journey to the Great Ring of the Ancestors. I am the last of our council."_

_John let himself rejoice on the inside hearing that news. At least no other worlds would become infected. "Were there any strangers to your world recently?"_

"_If there were, we did not see them. You are the first since our last harvest. Four days ago many of my people working in the fields witnessed the bright flash in the distant southern sky. We thought it was the Wraith. We took shelter immediately in our caves. We huddled close for nearly a day, but they did not come for us. As for strangers, you are the first."_

"_It was that bright flash of light that caused this disease. Huddling in the caves is what caused this disease to spread to the rest of your village. You no doubt witnessed some of your people who worked the fields had their clothes burned into their skin. This disease will also cause your planet to die." John stated. "Your people's suffering will only get worse." _

"_I am aware of what is to come. My son did in fact have some of his field clothes burned into his skin. I watched my wife try to care for our vibrant son but she too fall to this disease."_

"_Yeah…the real bad part is when your skin begins to slough off…" John saw the villager wrinkle his forehead tilting his head as in acknowledgement. "…your skin melts away leaving only redness, pain and bleeding behind. The end is very close. After that your organs inside liquefy, more blood spills onto the ground." God he hated this._

"_I understand of what you speak. My son, along with many others who worked the fields died in the manner you speak. It was very painful for him. It only took one cycle. His mother who had cared for him died the next. What are we to do?"_

"_I know a way to end your suffering. You need to ask everyone if they are willing to end their suffering sooner than later. If they are I will help you." John pointed over his shoulder to indicate he would wait at the edge of the village. The man nodded, turned, speaking to the group who had gathered behind him while he and John had talked._

_Time passed slowly giving Colonel Sheppard time to take more of the village in. The older man walked up to Colonel Sheppard stopping several feet away. "We have considered your offer to help. My people are scared of your weapon."_

"_My weapon is for defensive purposes only against those who would attack me or those of the Wraith." John informed the man._

"_Then how can you help us?"_

"_I can offer a quick way to end your suffering." __John pulled the brick of C-4 out of his pocket to show the man. "This is what my people call C-4. It is an explosive. When detonated the explosive is converted into compressed gas. The gas exerts pressure in the form of a shock wave, which demolishes everything in its path. I know that doesn't sound pleasant, but it will be so fast you won't feel a thing. I promise."_

"_I see."_

"_Look, your village; clothes, bedding, utensils, your people, your farmland, and your water supply have been contaminated by the white flash you saw. It's an invisible disease that is so powerful that it not only kills people and animals but also the fertile land. Your crops will no longer grow. I wish I could offer you another solution but this is the only way to stop your suffering."_

"_We have witnessed our work animals dying in much the same way as my people. Our first crop of babbas turned brown overnight. I believe what you say is true. I believe you only want to help us stop our suffering. Let me return to my people to deliberate."_

"_If they agree, have everyone gather in one place. I'll be over there out of the way. M__r…uh…"_

"_My name is Kayell. I am now village elder of Insherusk."_

"_I'm John."_

_Kayell nodded hobbling back to the gathered group of villages. John continued to look at all the faces trying to memorize them so they wouldn't be forgotten. It was hard to look at the children but he forced himself to look past the sores, the bleeding and bruises to remember each face. The round cheeks on two brothers who must be twins. The blue eyes of a little girl holding her wooden toy. Brown curly haired kids, red hair kids, black hair kids, green eyes, brown eyes, blue eyes, the tall, the short, the thin and the pudgy, John committed them all to his memory. Every detail of their short life imprinted in his. Then he started in on the adults of the village._

_John lost track of time but Kayell was approaching him again. "We have agreed. As we speak my fellow Insherins are gathering the sick from their homes. I have instructed them to go to our worship house. Will this be satisfactory?"_

_John swallowed down a lump the size of a cantaloupe in his throat so he could speak. "Yes. Kayell I'll need to set similar devices around the village. Since your homes, clothes and supplies are all contaminated they will need to be destroyed as well for the safety of others who might journey here. I'll also need to blow up the well."_

"_I understand John. You have my people's permission."_

"_The worship house…which one is it?" John followed Kayell's finger that pointed to the largest building almost in the center of the village. "I'll meet you at the door once everyone has gathered."_

"_I will be waiting." Kayell hobbled off. He no longer had family, his wife and son taken from him days before. He stood by the doors to the worship house and greeted everyone that came like it was just another Sunday gathering or the Pegasus equivalent._

_John shucked out of his backpack, pulled the C-4 from his vest pockets before retrieving the C-4 he had in his pack. Setting the detonators into each brick he methodically placed them strategically around the emptying village for maximum effect. As John passed the worship house to put the final charge in the well he heard singing. It almost brought him to his own knees. How could these suffering people rejoice in a celebratory song? He had Faith, just never practiced it much._

_Kayell signaled that all the villagers were now inside the worship house. John carefully handed him a brick of C-4. "When you enter and close the door, place this on the floor. It doesn't matter where you set it. When you and your people are ready you need to lift up this cover, toggle this switch to the upper position then press this button. I want you to put this into your pocket. It's a radio. When I am outside the village far enough I will talk to you through this device. You don't need to talk back or anything. I just need time to get out of the village before you press that red button. Will you be okay with all this?"_

"_Yes John. We will all be at peace soon. Our suffering will cease. We thank the Ancestors for sending you to us in our time of need. May the Ancestors be with you."_

_John wanted to shake the man's hand. "I don't want to be unfriendly, but the longer I stay here I run the risk of taking this disease back to my world." Instead he turned away and headed out of the village. Looking over his shoulder he saw Kayell enter and close the wooden doors behind him. John could still hear the singing on the distant breeze. Jogging toward the gate he crested the hill. He could see the gate off in the distance and the village down in the valley from whence he came._

"_Kayell, I'm far enough away now." John whispered into his radio. "It was an honor to meet you. You and your people will not be forgotten. I will see that everyone in this galaxy knows of your strength of conviction." John didn't have to wait long before the first explosion thundered over him. He pulled his secondary detonator from his tac vest pocket and set off the rest of the charges. Eight in all. From his vantage point the entire village was engulfed in flames. He'd done what he had to do._

_Sheppard set off at a light jog the rest of the way to the stargate. He was, but wasn't surprised to find the remaining three members of his team waiting for him. He skirted past his teammates to begin the dialing sequence with Rodney's rant at his back._

_As soon as his team was safely through to Atlantis John turned back towards the east. "You governed wisely Kayell and chose the correct path for your people. May you and your people rest in peace." John snapped off a textbook salute before backing into the stargate puddle that awaited him._

"That's everything. I prevailed upon two hundred plus villagers: men, women, children and babies that had been poisoned by radiation into killing themselves. I don't think even Rodney knew that it was a radiation particle stream he was chasing. If he did, he didn't mention it in his mission report. Since I stayed in the village the longest when I got back I burned everything: my clothes, vest, shoes, and supplies…the works. I took one of the Genii radiation badges we had in storage to check my exposure. It barely registered."

"How did you know Colonel that is was radiation sickness and not a reaction to the modified Hoffan drug or some other kind of illness?" Doctor Reynolds asked.

"I'd seen radiation poisoning before Doc. The villagers were all in different stages. You couldn't miss the bleeding, bruising, fatigue, hair loss, vomiting, inflammation, and open sores. And when Kayell confirmed they saw a white flash in the sky, I knew. At the rate of exposure I guessed that by the end of the week that planet's populace would have been dead. I mean it was only four days before we arrived on the planet that they saw the white flash in the sky and already half the population had died. I'd seen a smaller village like this back on Earth suffering the same way. It's not pleasant for the victim nor to watch it happen and know there is nothing you can do for them but end their suffering."

"Why didn't you put this in your original report? Why let your team and the rest of Atlantis think you killed innocent people." Asked Col. Caldwell.

"Had I told Mr. Woolsey he would have had to put me in the brig until you arrived. This way, I had another week to ten days to get the hanger ready for the new fleet, finish all my overdue reports, get caught up on all my status reports, personnel evaluations, stuff like that. I didn't want Lorne to have to play catch-up nor the new commanding officer when they come. And I guess because I'm Air Force I wanted to turn myself in to another Air Force officer. You and I both out rank Major Lorne." John paused for a moment to try to put together the right words to answer the Colonel's second question. "As for your second question, I knew what needed to be done. I knew what the consequences of my actions would be. I saw no reason to involve my team. Teyla has a son who depends on her now. Rodney is too important to the success and survival of Atlantis. Ronon would have understood and probably helped me, but I needed him here on Atlantis to keep everyone safe in my absence. His skills are needed here. I'm replaceable, besides, everyone has the right to think or believe what they want. And they weren't entirely wrong. I systematically planned the extermination of an entire race of people along with their village. What McKay voiced so loudly was the truth. I did kill all those people. It was my idea, my weapon of choice, my persuasion that talked Kayell and his people into going through with it. I'm just as guilty by my actions, my part in this as I am if I had pressed the trigger. What good would it have done if I tried to state my side only to turn myself in later? That is not an example I want to set for my men."

John looked hard at Caldwell trying to decipher what the seasoned military man might be thinking. Then he looked at his Doctor. "Doc, you going to be okay? You don't look so good. Should I call Matt in here?" John's hand hovered over the call button.

"No Colonel, thank you. I'll be fine. I was just thinking."

"Sir, if you have time later this afternoon I'd like to speak with you again. There's some things I'd like you to do for me...personally. But I'm a bit tired and a little sore right now."

"Just have Doctor Reynolds call me when you're ready."

"Thank you, Sir."

"I agree, it's been a rather exhausting morning for you Colonel. I think you're due for some rest." Phillip lowered the head of the bed to a comfortable sleeping position then he and the Colonel left the ICU room.

oOo

"Colonel, are you going to accept Lt. Col. Sheppard's surrender and courts martial him?" Dr. Reynolds asked as soon as they both cleared the IUC room.

"That's not up…"

"It is up to you Colonel. You're the one he surrendered to. What he did was not a criminal act. I know that and you know that. I've treated radiation sickness before and it's horrible what happens to a human body. What that man in there did was a humane act of kindness. You shouldn't punish someone who showed compassion and mercy. Colonel Sheppard had the benignity to do what was right. He offered them a painless way out, they accepted and they pushed the button, not him."

"I understand what you are saying Doctor as I too…" Caldwell held up his hand signaling he was getting a call. "Go ahead Marks. What is it?"

"Sir, Atlantis is requesting to have their party beam up so they can visit Colonel Sheppard."

"Stand-by. Doctor, Atlantis is requesting permission to visit Colonel Sheppard."

"No. Not at this time. I'll consider it later on after I have a chance to talk to Colonel Sheppard. He may not want to see anyone after the way he's been treated."

"Marks…Doctor Reynolds said his patient is not up to visitors at this time. Please relay that to Atlantis. Caldwell out."

"I can't believe they have the audacity to even ask to see the Colonel after what they did."

"Easy Doctor, as you know the people on Atlantis don't have the whole truth."

"Yes, of course, you're right which brings me to a proposal I want to run past you."

oOo

"Chuck put me on city wide." Richard Woolsey directed to Sergeant Campbell at the communications console.

Chuck pressed a couple crystals on the console then gave the base commander the signal to go ahead.

"May I have everyone's attention? There will be a movie shown in the mess hall which is part of our audit. Seating will be arranged and attendance is mandatory for all base personnel not on duty. Those members who are required to be on duty, you will be able to view the movie from your laptop or any Ancient screen in your respective areas. The movie will begin promptly at twenty hundred hours. Again, this movie is mandatory for all base personnel to view. It is a required viewing due to the Atlantis audit. Thank you."

"Thank you Mr. Woolsey. I'll see you again at nineteen thirty hours." And in a flash of light Caldwell was beamed back up to his ship.

oOo

John tossed and turned from the nightmare playing out inside his mind. He watched as one of the two twin boys melted away in front of him while his brother stared on in muted wonderment. Then the nightmarish movie moved to the black haired girl sitting by the water well. She stood, said goodbye to her mother and tossed herself down the deep well. The scream as she fell echoed from him as well.

"Colonel Sheppard, wake up! It's only a bad dream. Come on now, wake up." Dr. Reynolds was saying as he gently shook the screaming man awake.

Hazel eyes blinked his doctor's concerned face into view. "Oh god, sorry Doc." John stated in embarrassment.

"There's nothing to be sorry for. Do you want to tell me about your dream?"

"You taking your psychology course for a test drive, Doc?"

"Are you buyin'?"

John gave a healthy chuckle in return only to realize that wasn't a good idea. His abdomen was still sore from the black zipper he sported from stem to stern. "Doc, you're not supposed to have a sense of humor…it hurts to laugh."

Phillip pulled the pillow away from the next bed and laid it gently on his patient's abdomen to hug. "All doctors, Colonel have a sense of humor. It's a mandatory class: Humor 202. In your first year of med school you're not allowed to have fun. It's all about remembering what bone is connected to what bone." Just then the Doc broke into song, "'Your leg bone's connected to your knee bone, Your knee bone's connected to your thigh bone, Your thigh bone's connected to your hip bone, Your hip bone's…'"

"Oh…Doc…that's bad…stop please my stomach can't take much more."

"I'll quit if you tell me about your dream." Phillip started humming the tune while he waited on the Colonel's decision.

"Nightmare. I don't know when the last time I dreamed." John made himself more comfortable. It didn't appear the Doc was going to let this go. "Fine." John huffed. "I watched a little girl jump to a watery death into poisoned water all because she was dying of thirst. And then a little boy melted before my eyes. They were two of the children from the planet."

"It must have been pretty vivid."

"Yeah. I memorized all the children's faces and tried to memorize the adults but there just wasn't enough time." John stated solemnly.

"Why?"

"Someone needed to remember what happened to them. They needed to know that someone cared about what happened to them. They needed to know that someone would be left to tell others what happened and how they met the challenge with pride and conviction. God, their whole culture, civilization was wiped out in a flash of white light. It wasn't their fault someone used their planet to test a bomb. But if I don't remember them then who will? That's why I memorized their faces. That's why I'll have nightmares for a while. But it was the right thing to do."

"Colonel, don't take this the wrong way, it is meant with the utmost respect, but you are the most unconventional, unorthodox military man I've ever had as a patient."

"I've been called worse, Doc."

"Now who's the comedian?"

"Am I interrupting?" Caldwell asked from the doorway.

"Not at all Colonel, we were just visiting. I'll go grab my patient some lunch while the two of you talk."

Both military men watched the Doctor make a hasty exit.

"Something I said?" Caldwell inquired.

"No, I think it was something I said."

Caldwell did one of those minute head tilts in reply. "What did you want to talk to me about Colonel?"

"A couple things actually. On our way to Earth could we stop by P1N-060 and do a little more digging? I'd like to know if Atlantis can tie the Genii to what happened there. Kayell said he hadn't seen anyone but the Genii are the only ones I'm aware of that are experimenting with nuclear weapons. I know Hermiod is good but maybe Lorne could be talked into loaning you one of the jumpers so a science team could take a closer look. Get closer sensor readings and data over the blast crater. Atlantis doesn't have radiation suits so feet on the ground is not an option."

"I had already considered stopping. I'll ask the commanding officer about the jumper when the Daedalus is ready to depart."

"Also, I think it best if the stargate is destroyed. I'm not sure if the naquadah in the gate absorbs radiation or not. I'm sure McKay… Well either way its best that no one goes to that planet again."

"Agreed."

"Secondly, on my laptop I prepared a 'Power of Attorney'. I'd like you to personally manage the distribution of my assets: my pay, my worthy possessions like my skateboard and Johnny Cash poster, that sort of thing. I've included an outline funneling most of my assets back into Atlantis anonymously for military and scientific research. If you follow the plan I've set up, no one will know where the funds are coming from. I've set aside a few thousand dollars in an interest bearing account in case I get released from Leavenworth on good behavior." _As if that would ever happen, _John thought."Oh, if you could keep my brother Dave from finding out that would be great. I'd rather he think I'm MIA or KIA than in prison. I've been the black sheep of our family long enough and I don't need my decision to ruin his company. I think that's it." John took a moment to reflect. "Wait…did I tell you my password? It's: puddle jumper one. That will gain you access to everything on my laptop, although I've already purged all the other data files and records back onto the Atlantis mainframe."

"You've really thought this through, haven't you?"

"Let's just say I've had plenty of 'quality alone time' to think."

Just then there was a knock at the door. Dr. Reynolds was back with lunch. The Daedalus Commander waved the doctor in.

"Wow…real food."

"Glad you think so." Replied a humorous Phillip Reynolds.

"Hey Doc, do you think that maybe I could get a shower after lunch and maybe do something with this." John rubbed his free hand on his week's worth of black stubble.

"We'll talk after lunch. Eat."

Caldwell and the Doctor left John to his lunch. Outside in the main area of the ICU ward the ship's commander leaned on the bulkhead exhaling a frustrated sigh. His hands rubbed tiny circles at his temples unaware that he was being watched so closely by the ship's doctor. What he really wanted to do was bang his head on the bulkhead…more precisely, Sheppard's.

"Colonel?" Phillip queried.

"He never stops being frustrating."

"Who? Dr. McKay?"

"No, Colonel Sheppard. He's already set himself up with a life sentence at Leavenworth and wants my help to funnel his assets back into the Atlantis military and science departments. He's thought of everything; taken care of everything so that the person coming in behind him will have a clean slate. God! He makes me angry. He's too damn good at his job. Half those people down there would not be alive if it weren't for his 'outside the box' thinking. He's trying to make their lives easier. The same people who almost let him die a week ago. He's so…"

"Frustrating I think you said before."

"Yes…and irritating, aggravating, rational and level headed and... I've never met anyone who has such a high moral standard of conduct. I'm not ashamed to admit it but I can't even say that about myself."

"Then do something about it instead." Reynolds stated as if it was obvious then walked away. He had to arrange a shower and shave for the Lt. Colonel. Along with a surprise for Atlantis.

oOo

The Atlantis mess hall was packed. It was wall to wall people both civilian and military. Three large plasma screens from around the base were hooked up and strategically located throughout the mess hall. No matter where you sat or stood you had an unobstructed view of at least two of the large screens.

At twenty hundred hours on the dot the mess hall lights dimmed and the three screens came to life. Around Atlantis, those on duty either watched from their laptop or from the Ancient crystal screens: like the one hanging at the back of gate operations. For all those under confinement, the attending SO officer outside their doors was instructed to enter and make sure they all watched the movie as well.

The camera shifted to show a representation of a calendar.

Day 1

The film started off by showing a man and women outside watching their two children play. The scene was idyllic even though it was 1950 something. The innocent children played in the park enjoying a sunny afternoon of food and fun. They laughed and squealed with joy as they ran around each other in circles.

The laughter was cut short when suddenly a siren sounded. The parents scrambled to gather up their children to hustle them to safety. But being so far from home in a public park, safety was too far away. The parents looked fearful while the two children: a boy and a younger girl looked on in dismay. The screen went brilliant white for a moment before it zeroed back in on the showcased spot in the park. It was now empty.

_**: Oh man, I saw this back in basic training. :**_

_**: Yeah, I did too. Wonder why we're watching it again. :**_

_**: IOA mandates. Didn't you hear Woolsey? :**_

_**: Sshhhh! :**_

As the foursome gathered their belongings the little girl showed her Mother a blistering burn on her pale skin.

Day 2

The movie returned to show a modest home, one car garage, manicured lawn; the perfect depiction of modern suburbia on Earth circa 1950.

_**: Is this what your world looks like? :**_

_**: Yeah, about sixty years ago. Now it's a lot different. :**_

Inside the home it was another matter. The camera panned over modest furnishings throughout until it paused on the two children. Two very ill children. Mother and Father were frantically trying to help. The Father examined the thermometer and noticed his son's fever had risen another three degrees. The boy had a bloody nose, his gums were bleeding leaving his teeth and lips stained red, his sister was vomiting blood over the side of her bed. The Mother did her best to fight her own dizziness while tending to her daughter's pain and diarrhea. The parents looked fatigued but kept up taking care of their children who's sores had spread down their neck, arms and legs. The parents cooed comforting words as they worked diligently wrapping clean bandages on the open sores.

**Voice over:** _It was hard to look at the children.__ A child was pulling lose her hair in handfuls staring amazedly at the curly brown tufts in her hand._

_**: Was that Colonel Sheppard's voice? :**_

Blood dripped from the Father's nose now. He darted off to the bathroom only to vomit more blood. The flash they'd see in the park had been too close. He rubbed his hands through his hair as in relief that he was still able to stand. Bringing his hands away he couldn't help but wonder how much longer he would have his brown hair.

**Voice over: **_Two men had a bloody nose. Someone else was lying over a barrel vomiting. _

The Children lay in beds, their delicate skin covered in white cloth that all too quickly ran red. The Mother's hair was thinning and her hands were red, swollen and bleeding. You could tell that her hands hurt to wring out the cloth she used to wipe up the blood from the faces of her two children before she continued to tear up another one of her good sheets into strips.

**Voice over: **E_very member in the village had some type of bruising and redness on their arms, neck, face and hands. _

_**: That is the Colonel's voice. :**_

_**: He sounds weak. :**_

_**: I heard one of the Daedalus Nurses say he almost died. :**_

_**: Just our luck they saved the piece of shit. :**_

The daughter, youngest of the two children, thin and now frail with the fairest of skin, closed her eyes and with her final breath succumbed to death.

**Voice over: **_B__abies crying and mothers weeping._

The older son, but not by many years, had open sores, his skin blistering faster than his Father, in his own weakened state, could wrap. The son's light brown hair was already gone. His Father wept by his side.

**Voice over: **_"I'm sorry. There is nothing I can do to make you and your village well again."_

Day 3

The son miraculously made it through the night to see the light of a new day. His internal organs liquefying as he cried out in pain to his Mothers loving caresses. His parents tried to comfort him but everything hurt, everywhere bled. Water was no longer a blessing; its taste turned to copper from his continually bleeding gums.

_**: This is just sick. Why are we watching this? :**_

_**: Mandatory…didn't you hear the announcement? :**_

_**: This is worse than what the Wraith do. :**_

The Father pulled a stained sheet over his son's lifeless body.

The Mother succumbed to the same dehydration, fatigue, pain, and fever she'd battled for two days while caring for her children. Blood loss coupled with the inflammation and skin sores finally took their toll.

_**: Throughout the mess hall—several someone's were puking. :**_

Day 4

The wife now lies on the floor of their master bedroom no longer able to move. She bled from every orifice, every pore the same as her husband. Her husband joined her at her side. His touch however gentle caused her to scream in agony. This was not her choice of death.

**Voice over: **_"I'd seen radiation poisoning before Doc. The villagers were all in different stages. You couldn't miss the bleeding, bruising, fatigue, hair loss, vomiting, inflammation, and open sores. And when Kayell confirmed they saw a white flash in the sky, I knew. At the rate of exposure I guessed that by the end of the week that planet's populace would have been dead. I mean it was only four days before we arrived on the planet that they saw the white flash in the sky and already half the population had died. I'd seen a smaller village like this back on Earth suffering the same way. It's not pleasant for the victim nor to watch it happen and know there is nothing you can do for them but end their suffering."_

**Voice over: **_Why let your team and the rest of Atlantis think you killed innocent people?_

_**: Caldwell. That's Colonel Caldwell's voice. :**_

**Voice over: **_I knew what needed to be done. I knew what the consequences of my actions would be. I saw no reason to involve my team. Teyla has a son who depends on her now. Rodney is too important to the success and survival of Atlantis. Ronon would have understood and probably helped me, but I needed him here on Atlantis to keep everyone safe in my absence. His skills are needed here. I'm replaceable, besides, everyone has the right to think or believe what they want. And they weren't entirely wrong. I systematically planned the extermination of an entire race of people along with their village. What McKay voiced so loudly was the truth. I did kill all those people. It was my idea, my weapon of choice, my persuasion that talked Kayell and his people into going through with it. I'm just as guilty by my actions, my part in this as I am if I had pressed the trigger. What good would it have done if I tried to state my side only to turn myself in later? That is not an example I want to set for my men._

**Voice over: **_I've treated radiation sickness before it's horrible what happens to a human body. What that man in there did was a humane act of kindness. You shouldn't punish someone who showed compassion and mercy. Colonel Sheppard had the benignity to do what was right. He offered them a painless way out, they accepted and they pushed the button, not him_.

_**: Who's that? I don't recognize that voice. :**_

_**: I think that's the Daedalus Doc. :**_

_**: Is that what the Colonel saw? :**_

**Voice over: **_I memorized all the children's faces and tried to memorize the adults but there just wasn't enough time._

_**: Sheppard. :**_

**Voice over: **_Why?_

_**: That the Doc again? :**_

_**: Yes stupid, now shut up and listen. :**_

**Voice over: **_Someone needed to remember what happened to them. They needed to know that someone cared about what happened to them. They needed to know that someone would be left to tell others what happened and how they met the challenge with pride and conviction. God, their whole culture, civilization was wiped out in a flash of white light. It wasn't their fault someone used their planet to test a bomb. But if I don't remember them then who will? That's why I memorized their faces. That's why I'll have nightmares for a while. But it was the right thing to do._

**Voice over: **_Colonel Caldwell I respectfully surrender myself for courts martial on the charge I committed genocide._

_**: A collective gasp carried across the mess hall. :**_

_**: He can't! :**_

_**: God, what have we done? :**_

_**: He was just protecting us. :**_

_**: We should never have listened to hearsay. : **_

_**: We should have asked the Colonel straight out. :**_

The movie froze on the last scene of the Mother and Father letting the voice over play out. Right after Colonel Sheppard surrendered the image on the screen changed. The background was obvious: Ancient flooring—it was the solid pool of bright red blood that caught the viewer's eyes first before your eyes shifted down and to the right to read two words written in blood. **You're Forgiven**

_**: I'm gonna be sick. :**_

_**: I shoved him in the mess line. :**_

_**: I took the jumpers and jumper bay off-line. :**_

_**: Man am I going to be in trouble for calling my CO a 'piece of shit'! :**_

_**: I hit him with a ladder. :**_

_**: That was an accident you moron! :**_

_**: Yeah, but I didn't feel bad for doing it. Now I do. :**_

_**: After all we did, he still forgave us. :**_

_**: I feel like crap. :**_

_**: Me too. :**_

_**: I messed with his environmental controls for his room and office. :**_

_**: How are we gonna make it up to him? :**_

_**: We won't. :**_

_**: Yes we can…we set the same example. :**_

_**: I slammed him into a wall…on purpose. :**_

_**: I dished him out cold, burnt foods. :**_

_**: I wasn't even civil to him. :**_

_**: We didn't know the truth. :**_

_**: I starched his underclothes. :**_

_**: That had to itch. :**_

_**: I swapped out his gun cleaning oil with maple syrup. :**_

Declaration after declaration could be heard throughout the mess hall. Everyone had something to be sorry for; whether it was an action purposely committed against the Colonel in some direct or indirect way or whether it was just giving him the silent treatment. Many people were still stunned by the last image. Others couldn't get out of the room fast enough. More lost their dinner.

oOo

"Thought I might find you here."

John was startled from his daydreaming. As he stood gazing out over the hybrid planes his pilots would be getting his thoughts took him back to the days of his first flight as a child; soaring through the clouds like a bird. His failed attempts to fly using his mother's best sheets as he jumped from the tree in his backyard only netted him broken bones. But it was worth it. As he stood lost in his musings he had calculated the number of different aircraft he'd flown over his military career and came up with the number seventeen. There was nothing like the feeling of freedom that flying managed to give you. John loved getting lost in the wild blue yonder.

"Yeah…Doc let me out to stretch my legs."

Actually he'd had no control over his legs; they just took him against his will until he stood at the threshold of the flight bay three minutes later. Standing near the doorway of the port 302 hanger bay of the Daedalus eight of the most beautiful ships sat before him. He yearned to fly one more time before his wings were permanently clipped. But he had already surrendered for courts martial and had been grounded for more than three weeks, officially or not. It wasn't worth the pain.

Dr. Reynolds was impressed with Sheppard's recovery over the last week. The Colonel's body was healing quickly, the mind not so much. He saw no reason to keep his patient confined to the sick bay. The walk would do him good.

When John left his bed in the ICU sick bay for his walk he was surprised there was no guard stationed at his door. No guard ordered to follow him through the large ship. No guard to stop him from reaching the F-302's, or to stop him from going for a last minute flight. Not that he would of course. Maybe Caldwell thought there was no place for him to go, so no guard was necessary.

Caldwell moved into the hanger bay as well. He studied the Lt. Colonel who was studying the sleek ships. Steven mused that after all this time he'd never flown a 302…not even sat in one. And this was his ship after all. Why hadn't he? "Colonel, we need to talk."

"Sure."

"Dr. Reynolds said you're well enough and has released you from sick bay."

"You didn't come all this way to tell me that." _Just tell me what brig cell to report to and be done with it. I won't give you any problems_.

"No, I didn't." Steven paused for a few seconds to regroup, carefully wording his next question to imply the correct tense. "Do you have a name picked out for the new squadron?"

"No…"

Underneath his current stone façade exterior John wanted to shout that he did. Ever since he found out about getting the hand-me-down fleet he started coming up with names. He spent the last six months trying to come up with the perfect name. He passed on 'Wraith Eaters', 'Pegasus Stallions', 'Vampire Zappers', 'Atlantis Knights', 'Hail Mary', 'Sheppard's Slayers', 'Defenders', 'Bug Eaters', 'Bug Zappers', 'Whack-a-Wraith', as well as 'Iratus Fleet' just because they were nasty bugs and countless other names. He then pulled from Greek Mythology 'Thunderbolts' it seemed fitting, strong and warrior like. John remembered from his High School English days that Pegasus carried the thunderbolts of Zeus. What better way to strike back at the Wraith. He would never forgive himself for waking the Wraith. John wanted nothing more than to strike every last Wraith down since his first encounter. Now he would have to leave that up to the next base commander. An apology letter for the mess he created in the Pegasus Galaxy was already written and waiting.

"We still need to unload your new interceptor fighter fleet before heading back to Earth." Caldwell stated.

John answered in monotone. "Just contact Major Lorne, he's in command, he'll round up sixteen pilots to fly them down to Atlantis. He'll be surprised. I haven't told anyone."

John knew if he hadn't screwed up on P1N-060 he would've turned his fighter squadron into the best trained, best skilled, and most efficient of any unit. They'd throw thunderbolt after thunderbolt at any Wraith that came near Atlantis or its people.

"You're not taking one down yourself?"

"No." Caldwell cringed at Sheppard's hollow rejection. He knew the Colonel lived to fly. Hearing him pass on the one opportunity that would get him in the air was disheartening.

Colonel Caldwell moved to the closest 302, climbed the ladder, situating himself in the rear seat. John heard a sigh of longing coming from the seasoned ship commander. He had one himself. But John had no intention of climbing on board. If Caldwell wanted to continue his talk, he would have to talk loud. John was fine right where he stood at the bottom of the access ladder.

From inside the cockpit the Daedalus Captain started talking. "I miss this. Flying a fast, maneuverable ship like this, though the Daedalus is a dream job come true. I can't believe I've never done this. It's my ship after all and why haven't I flown one of these?"

"Sometimes I miss flying helicopters." John returned. He'd made himself comfortable on one of the steps his back towards the open canopy of the cockpit.

"You haven't asked to go back to Atlantis. Why?"

"Not much point is there? They all made their decision pretty clear. There's nothing left down there for me."

"I wouldn't bet on that Sheppard. A lot has happened in the last week. And for the last several days Dr. McKay has made a great nuisance of himself. He calls practically every hour requesting to be beamed up. He's come up with some pretty darn good excuses for wanting to be beamed up here. His latest one was about a lynch mob."

"Lynch mob? Well…that's seems about right for McKay. Glad I'm up here under your protection."

"Not you…him." Caldwell clarified. "He and the others on Atlantis have seen the error of their ways. Literally. They want to apologize."

John turned his head to look at the cockpit hoping to see Caldwell's face but his angle was all wrong. Was the seasoned officer deluded? "Apologize?"

Caldwell thought he might have the young mans attention now. "As I said, there have been a lot of changes going on in Atlantis."

Colonel Caldwell began his explanation from the beginning briefly touching on all the important details: the audit, confronting those individuals who played a significant role in Sheppard's 'almost death'. Caldwell explained he gave a military talk and about Dr. Reynolds's mandatory movie night. Leaving out the part of the 'voice over' naturally. Caldwell went into further detail detailing the JAG inquiries and verdicts.

Colonel Caldwell arranged for a JAG delegation to come through the gate from Earth. After the report he sent, Earth couldn't get the JAG team there fast enough for their liking. The seven member panel comprised of both military and civilian experts set up offices in the conference room pouring over every detail turned out by the impromptu audit. Interviews were scheduled with the detainees with appropriate council present. Events, actions, non-actions were carefully laid out in detail down to the second.

All of the medical staff that they _proved_ were involved had their licenses revoked. Dr. Dae received six months correctional confinement for his inadequate response time and care of a head trauma victim. Nurse Sheila Edwards had charges filed against her as well. Jail time was certainly in her future. Nurse LaCour wasn't sentenced with any jail time as she did respond to Caldwell's call albeit slowly, but received one year of community service as did Nurse Adams. Nurse Baylor received six months confinement for his failure in responding to the call light which resulted in the Colonel falling and subsequent internal bleeding. Medics Morelli and Rodriquez received a black mark in their military service records. Rodriquez, for his slow response and rough handling of a head trauma patient was discharged from the service. Morelli was allowed to stay in the service but was on probation for three months. The cook's assistant, Josephine O'Brien received a reprimand and 6 months probation but was allowed to continue working in the kitchen of Atlantis.

The rest of the medical staff was given a stern, yet thorough four-hour talking to by Dr. Morris. Failure to comply with medical procedures and set guidelines as governed by the oath they took would be met with harsh consequences. A series of mock drills have been scheduled throughout the coming months.

The JAG lawyers had whittled away the pile of complaints and charges submitted by Dr. Reynolds and Col. Caldwell until they came to Dr. Carson Beckett's file. Carson's case was the toughest. When the JAG lawyers were informed that Carson was actually a clone they took the news in stride. Three of the lawyers present had worked the case involving O'Neill's clone's disposition.

Beckett's case was a might different. He was being charged with malpractice. However, the facts remain, he is a clone. He is officially a Pegasus resident: born and…_grown_? He had no affiliated ties with the Atlantis Expedition or its mandates, with exception of being friends with several members. The people of Pegasus didn't require their healers to have a license. So revoking a license he no longer held was a moot point. The 'real' Carson Beckett had died and along with him his medical service. Therefore what it boiled down too was that he was not subject to Earth justice.

Dr. Reynolds went through the roof when he heard their verdict. The JAG lawyers had no judiciary grounds to hold the doctor and ordered that he be released from confinement. Since this was out of their jurisdiction they recommended that Dr. Beckett be turned over to the Coalition.

John stood up angrily, climbed the three steps toward the 302's cockpit so he could face Caldwell. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "What? They can't do that! We need him. Pegasus needs him. Those nutjobs at the Coalition just might kill him. No way am I going to stand-by and let that happen!"

"It's out of our hands Sheppard."

"The hell it is!"

"Mr. Woolsey has been tasked with the disposition of Dr. Beckett. You do realize that you came this close to dying." Caldwell held up his thumb and forefinger barely apart. "He discharged you against his better judgment, didn't follow-up on your care after you fell, nor did he follow-up once you were in your quarters and practically starved you to death. Now you're arguing on his behalf? I don't get you Sheppard."

"Most people don't." He spat.

Sheppard and Caldwell stared each other down. It was Sheppard who broke first. "I need to get down there."

"Twenty minutes ago you said Atlantis held nothing for you."

"That was twenty minutes ago. Before I knew all this crap was going on while I've been up here. I have to stop Woolsey from throwing Beckett to those wolves. It's the least I can do before they lock me up for good."

"About that."

"What!?" John snapped.

Caldwell was taken aback at the young pilot snapped retort. "I had JAG review your last mission report to P1N-060. The 'official' one off your laptop along with mine and Dr. Reynolds reports. No charges are being filed. You've been cleared of any and all liability in the deaths of the Insherusk people."

"I don't understa…"

"Your record speaks for itself Sheppard. You take honor, respect, responsibility and duty to a higher level, a higher standard. You take responsibility for your actions, and the actions of others no matter how misguided they are. I've never met another military man in all my years that has your sense of righteousness, your high moral standards. You not only set the bar high for yourself but you encourage those under your command to reach for it as well. You're always thinking about what's best for your team, for your men, for Atlantis. You're tenacious, you're selfless and you give a damn! That's more than most commanding officers can say about themselves."

"But I extinguished so many lives, obliterated the village, wiped out a whole culture…" John's legs were about to give out under the emotional stress so he sat heavily on the top platform of the ladder. He hung his head down in disbelief searching for answers that were not forthcoming.

"You just don't get it, do you? You saved them Sheppard. You offered the Insherins a solution that would end their suffering. Stop their pain, pain not only from radiation sickness, but the pain of watching their loved ones slowly die. Of watching their children die. Being in command isn't always going to be easy. Being in command means you have to make the hard choices, the tough decisions whether their popular or not. And _**you**_ do it extremely well. The JAG Corps saw that. They didn't just review your last mission they reviewed several to get a sense of who you are: as career military, as a base commander and as a human being. And in every mission report they saw the same thing that took me a while to see. Integrity."

"'Integrity First, Service Before Self, Excellence in All We Do.' Those are just words." Sheppard whispered.

"No they aren't. And you know they aren't. You've lived your whole life by those words. Don't sell yourself short." Col. Caldwell gave his subordinate a few minutes to let their conversation sink in. Sheppard could be so damn stubborn sometimes. "Now I believe you asked earlier about going to Atlantis and defending your friend. I can think of no better way to get there than to fly. So pull yourself together Colonel, get in the pilots seat and show me that we're all not wrong." When the Lt. Colonel hadn't moved fast enough for his liking he shouted, "That's an order!"

oOo

"Bridge, Alpha One is departing for Atlantis. Be advised that Lt. Colonel Sheppard is at the controls."

"Yes Sir. Understood. Colonel Sheppard at the controls. Atlantis control has been alerted." A hint of mischief resounded from Major Marks as he responded.

"What does he mean by that?" Sheppard asked.

Caldwell couldn't suppress his laughter. "You're reputation as a pilot precedes you. I'm ready back here, all systems: check."

"All systems: check. Firing thrusters."

The ten minute flight to Atlantis from geosynchronous orbit to the planet took over an hour. Sheppard, with Caldwell's permission, put the little hybrid ship through her paces. He needed to know what his new toys could do. Tight turns, g-force pull-outs, loop-de-loops, dives…

"_Man look at him go. I didn't think that maneuver was even possible!"_

"_Are we recording this?" _

"_I'm putting in for a transfer."_

"_Good luck with that."_

"_Did you see how tight that turn was?"_

"_He's got to be pulling 4…5…maybe 6 g's with that pullout."_

…spins, aileron rolls, barrel rolls, Immelman turns…

"_What ship's he in?"_

"_Number eight."_

"_Oh…man, I hope he doesn't try any split-s…"_

…split-s maneuvers…

"_You never could to do that Gator. You always blamed it on your ship. Well guess what pal…looks like you're back in the simulator."_

…Cuban-eight, clover leaf, some maneuvers Sheppard performed defied modern aerodynamics.

_The pilots and crew on board the Daedalus were in awe at how Colonel Sheppard handled the little 302. Most were aware of his flying prowess but none of them had had the opportunity to see him in action. _

"_Hey…where's Caldwell?"_

"_He's out there with Sheppard." Marks replied to some of the pilot's who had gathered on the bridge toggling the VOX switch on his console._

"Whoo-hoo! This is living!" Caldwell hollered from the rear seat. "YeeHaw! I should go on check rides with all my pilots."

"_Oh…man…"_

Sheppard performed each standard training maneuver twice; once in space and once again in atmosphere over the ocean. Along with the few maneuvers that defied the impossible. Then Sheppard put the aircraft in a stall to see how she recovered. Finally it was time to land on the southern pier. The southern pier had one of the longest flat decks: perfect for landing aircraft on before slowly rolling into Warehouse 2.

Sheppard had put off landing for as long as possible. Col. Caldwell had whooped and hollered from the back seat almost continuously through the flight from pure enjoyment and the thrill of flying. All pilots seemed to have that deep-seated love inherently born within them. It was the thought of coming down that scared John. What he might be confronted with once he landed. Who would be confronting him? The last time he was on Atlantis he had been alienated and almost died. That was something he couldn't just push out of his mind right now.

The 302 rolled to a stop before the warehouse doors. From the backseat, "I was informed the warehouse has been completed but I wasn't given the code to open the door."

"That's okay, I can get them open." Colonel Sheppard stated as he closed his eyes and thought hard to let Atlantis know about the door he wanted opened. His mental awareness took some doing since it had been a while since he last felt Atlantis in the back of his mind. Soon the doors opened. Once the doors were fully extracted John fired the secondary thrusters to get the little ship moving again and rolled into the hanger. He parked her in the number eight square.

Col. Caldwell was already out of his seat standing on the wing waiting for Sheppard who hadn't even taken off his helmet or oxygen mask even though the canopy had been opened out on the southern deck.

"Sheppard? You alright?" Asked a concerned commanding officer.

Popping off his mask and undoing his helmet he offered his patent, "yeah." He didn't want Caldwell to know he was a bundle of nerves. Sucking down the pure oxygen had helped a little. John moved in slow motion extracting himself from the pilot's seat. Caldwell remained in position to offer a helping hand to the healing pilot.

Once both men were on the ground they started the long walk into the city.

"You've chosen an excellent location to house the 302's. Plenty of interior room, suitable landing area and from the looks of it you have extra storage and fleet maintenance areas."

"We found two of these large rooms. The other one is on the west pier. The scientists think the Ancients may have built the jumpers in here. We had to do some major remodeling. Lt. Ashton deserves all the credit for getting the bulk of the project done. We still have to paint the dock's landing markers and add recessed lighting for night landings. I put Ashton in charge of the work crews since he wants to own his own commercial construction company when his military stint is up. He's been taking classes to get his degree. I've had the engineers here proctoring him in their down time. Ashton's got a future ahead of him." John knew he was rambling but his nerves were getting the best of him.

The two men continued to talk passing Marine patrols every now and then. Three transporter stations later the pair ran across more and more people. The military members were snapping off picture-perfect salutes. A sign that told Sheppard he still held their respect while the civilian side uttered, 'I'm sorry', 'Welcome back', or 'I was wrong', among other sentiments.

The halls seemed to be getting smaller and smaller closing in around him to the point that there was not enough air. More people crowded in to say their apologies. One voice over another voice over other voices all running together into a muddled sound. Words were indistinguishable. It was getting harder to breathe with each slowed step. Caldwell kept the good well wishers at bay with one hand while his other hand firmly gripped Sheppard's elbow. Sheppard had completely closed down. Caldwell steered the Lt. Colonel in a new direction. A door sliding open startled Sheppard out of his panic induced daze. Steven pushed the pilot down onto a soft surface guiding his head down between his knees with orders to breathe.

"Marks, beam down Dr. Reynolds directly to my coordinates. It's Sheppard."

The doctor materialized a few minutes later, medical bag in hand, seeing to his patient's wellbeing.

Caldwell took a look around the base commander's room. The floor had been cleaned up as well as his quarters in general. Steven noticed a small refrigerator now replaced one of the night tables. No doubt if he opened the door he would find it well stocked. Clearly an act of contrition he suspected. Caldwell stepped outside into the hallway that was now crowded with even more people then a few moments ago.

Tapping his earwig, "Marks…"

"Don't Colonel. We'll handle this...Sir." Lorne stated as he shoved through the crowd. "Alright listen up. This area is now off limits to all base personnel until further notice. There's nothing to see here. I'm sure when Colonel Sheppard is ready he'll make himself available. Now, go back to your labs, your offices, your quarters or your duty stations. That's an order."

Reluctantly the crowd disbursed. Lorne stationed two men at each end of the hallway and one at the transporter. He himself planned to stand his post at Sheppard's door ensuring no one would be allowed to bother the Colonel. And that included Dr. McKay.

"Well done Major."

"Thank you Sir. Is…is Colonel Sheppard alright in there?"

"I believe so yes. Dr. Reynolds is with him now." Lorne nodded as Caldwell disappeared into the room.

Sheppard was stretched out on his bed one arm resting across his eyes. A sign he was embarrassed. The Daedalus' Head of Medicine was taking a blood pressure reading on the other arm.

"Doctor."

"Rest Colonel. I'll be right over there talking to Col. Caldwell if you need me." Phillip moved away from the bed tucking his BP and stethoscope into his medical bag. "He'll be fine. It was a mild panic attack he just needs rest. What happened?"

"We ran into a couple of Marines on patrol. They must have spread the word the Colonel was back and the closer we came to the city the more people we incurred. This is my fault I'm afraid. In our conversation earlier I let it slip about McKay having a lynch mob after him. I think that and all the people crowding…"

"Ah…Well from what I've seen of the Colonel over the last ten days is that he's resilient. He'll come through this fine. But right now he just needs peace and quiet and some rest. And as I recall Colonel, I said Colonel Sheppard was released from my sick bay. I don't remember saying he could resume active duty let alone fly."

"Duly noted Doctor." Replied a chastised Colonel Caldwell.

"I think I'll check in with Dr. Morris. See how preparations are coming along in the infirmary for our departure date. I'll check back on Colonel Sheppard in an hour."

"I've got a few things to take care of as well." Stated Caldwell. "In an hour then."

Phillip went to inform his patient making sure the Colonel's comm link was on the nightstand along with a glass of water. Before the Doctor or ship's Captain left the room, Sheppard was sleeping peacefully.

"Major round up fifteen qualified 302 pilots and have them report to gate operations. I'll be in ops talking with Mr. Woolsey."

"Pilots, Sir?"

"I know Colonel Sheppard wanted to tell you and the rest of the base himself but the Daedalus has spent more time here then was planned. Atlantis is getting our fleet of F-302's and in a couple years you'll be getting the Apollo's for the defense of this base."

"Warehouse 2?" Lorne queried.

Caldwell smiled knowing that Sheppard had pulled one over on his XO. "Warehouse 2, Major."

"Yes Sir. I'll take care of it."

oOo

Steven Caldwell sat across from Richard Woolsey over the man's expensive and expansive large desk. He saw to the pilots; eager to please their commanding officer before settling down to talk to Mr. Woolsey. For the past forty minutes the two were deadlocked on the subject of what to do with Dr. Beckett. Caldwell had his own ideas and he knew Sheppard had his own as well. Woolsey was dead-locked on his opinion to follow the recommendation handed down by the JAG inquiry.

Caldwell changed the subject—this was getting neither of them anywhere.

"The Daedalus will be leaving soon. Do you have enough staff to fully operate the infirmary in case of an emergency? If not I can leave my people here on TAD until Dr. Keller returns with replacements."

"Dr. Hennery has temporary control over the infirmary and has reported they can and will make due. Your, Doctors' Morris and Reynolds concurred. And speaking of…I want to personally thank you for saving Colonel Sheppard's life. I don't know how I let it get out of hand and that far. No matter if he left out the truth in his report or not, I should have done something. I've informed the IOA of my deficiency and inadequacy of handling this issue. I've been put back on probation."

"I…"

"You don't have to say anything Colonel. It's the least that I deserve. In fact I requested it. When I first arrived I was a stickler for protocols and it came to my attention that some protocols just don't seem to work with the situations we encounter out here. I've allowed myself to be too lax. I don't want this to happen again. I just hope Colonel Sheppard is in a forgiving mood."

"Mr. Woolsey, I think you know the answer to that already."

"Yes, but that was a dying man's last words. I'm sure the Colonel feels differently now, now that he's had time to reflect. I believe Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: 'Our distrust is very expensive'."

"Indeed it is. If you'll excuse me I have to see my ship's doctor. We'll continue this in an hour."

oOo

John had slept solidly once the panic eased off. When he woke he was disoriented for a minute or two before his surroundings coalesced. He was used to waking in the ICU ward aboard ship with the hum of the engines around him. This time he woke with the hum of Atlantis in the back of his head. A feeling he hadn't had for the last week and a half. First he saw his golf bag sitting in the corner, then his skateboard and knew he was in his quarters. John bolted up—his heart now beating fast and furious in his throat. A fine sheen of sweat broke out on his forehead. Immediately his eyes went to the floor where he'd lain in pain, said his goodbyes while wishing for the end. There was nothing there, no blood, no finger marks. He scanned his room to find it orderly. Dirty laundry that was piled by the bathroom door was gone. One of his bedside tables had been replaced with a small refrigerator. _Looks like Rodney's. _ He was about to investigate the contents when the Doc came in making him jump slightly.

The jumpiness was not lost on Reynolds. "Colonel, how do you feel?"

"Embarrassed, stupid, mortified, self-conscience, foolish…"

"I get the picture. There's nothing for you to be embarrassed about. It was a perfectly normal reaction to the situation you found yourself in."

"I panicked. Atlantis' Military Commander panicked like a newbie. I'm not supposed to panic. I'm supposed to hold it together and panic later…or not at all preferably. All those people…they saw…"

"They saw the man they turned their backs on over someone's misinterpreted events on a mission then became overzealous in their attempt to apologize."

Before John could form a response to the Doctor's statement his door chimed. A quick sizzle of anxiety flowed through his body making him tremble and break into a cold sweat before he realized it was Col. Caldwell on the other side. John thought 'open'.

"How is he Doctor?"

"'He' is right here." Sounding annoyed.

"So I gather you're doing well then." Caldwell stated with a raised brow.

"I'm…fine." John washed his hand over his face trying to hide his moment of panic.

"Colonel Sheppard is correct. He is fine. A little on the jumpy side I might add though." Phillip smiled while his patient grimaced.

"Colonel, your team is waiting down the hall."

Panic raced through him a fourth time sending an artic chill down his spine. "Teyla. Just Teyla."

"Very well." Caldwell left the room to retrieve the Athosian woman. As he sent her off he placated Dr. McKay.

"Hi Teyla."

"It is good to see you well John."

An awkward moment passed between. No head tilt, no forehead touching greeting, nothing. Neither one knew exactly what to say.

"Teyla…here's the thing…I want to say I'm sorry." John held up his hand to stop her from interrupting. "Let me finish. I'm sorry I didn't explain what was happening on P1N-060. It was for your own protection and your son's that I sent you away. I'm sorry if I was rough with you. I didn't want the same harm to come to you that befell those people. If you had touched that women… I had to get you out of harms way. I had to get all of you away. I couldn't let Ronon and Rodney continue to track the particle stream. The closer they got the worse it would have been for them. You all had to leave quickly to be safe. You and your people celebrate life. What I was planning to do was end life. I knew you would want to try and help those people because that is who you are. You wouldn't have believed me then if I told you there was nothing that could be done."

"You are correct. I wanted to help those people. They were sick, they needed my help…your people's help. I have seen your people perform many miracles John. When I heard the explosions and saw the smoke I was confused… hurt… that you denied me…denied your people the chance to help them. I was unsettled by your actions. Resentful towards you for what I saw…assumed you had done what I saw since you would not speak in your defense. There are some things, we Athosians…we Pegasus natives, are still naïve about. It was not until Dr. Reynolds showed us the movie that I fully understood your actions or your concern for our welfare."

_What movie? Caldwell mentioned a movie too. _"I'm sorry Teyla for putting you through all that. And I don't blame you for being mad or angry at me. It was something I had to burden alone."

Teyla considered his words thoughtfully but something still bothered her. "Why did you not stop Dr. McKay from speaking out against you? Surely he is aware of this…affliction…on your world. Yet you allowed him to voice his displeasure of you, to criticize your motives, your leadership."

"When I was a little boy my brother and I would get into these fights… arguments. I was older so naturally I was right and he was wrong. My take on things was all that mattered. Well one day my mother overhead us fighting. She sat us both down and one at a time we had to tell her our side of the fight. Then she told us her side. You're not supposed to have three sides in a fight: there's right and wrong, good and bad. But my mother offered another side. From then on anytime there was a disagreement in our house we all sat down and talked about it. After a while I realized that everyone has their own opinion, their own view about stuff and it's not necessarily about being right or wrong. On Earth we have this thing called the First Amendment. It allows anyone to voice their opinion. Rodney was just voicing his opinion. Loudly."

Teyla interrupted, "you did not kill those people John. What Rodney…"

"…what Rodney was saying wasn't entirely wrong. At least not the way I saw it. It was my idea Teyla, my weapon, my words that persuaded them to end their lives. Rodney wasn't saying anything different. Just because I didn't push the button that actually ended the Insherin's lives doesn't mean I'm any less guilty. That's why I kept everything to myself. I didn't want to drag you, Ronon or Rodney down with me. On my world we don't take to kindly to people who go around exterminating whole cultures. I knew what the consequences of my actions would be. It was my choice. I'm a soldier; I was prepared to live with what I did. I know you and your culture value life above all else. I couldn't take that away from you Teyla no more than I could have let them take you away from Torren had you been a part of what I did. I'm sorry for wrecking our friendship. I hope one day we can be friends again."

Teyla had had time to contemplate what she had learned in the last week. She reexamined her fragile relationship with John and with Rodney. Teyla considered John's words now. They weighed heavily on her soul. If John could forgive them, she was going to forgive him. "I am free this afternoon. Would you like to spar?"

"Sure." John replied with a gleam of excitement in his eyes. Then there was a clearing of a throat in the background. John had forgotten all about the Doc sitting at his desk. "Maybe tomorrow." The clearing continued. "Next…" More clearing. "How about I let you know."

Silence filled the small room but Teyla's smile overpowered it.

"Very well, I will wait." This time Teyla placed her hands on John's shoulders and bowed her head. He was forgiven. John returned the gesture touching her forehead lightly, realizing just how close he was to giving Atlantis, Teyla, and his friends all up. "If it is acceptable with you I will speak of this to Ronon and Rodney."

"I'd like that very much."

"Very well." She said with another smile.

oOo

After Teyla returned and not another team mate was summoned, Caldwell sent them packing. Rodney refused to follow Teyla and Ronon no matter how much she tried. Rodney wanted to argue.

"Doctor, I'm sure the Lt. Colonel will see you. In. Due. Time. Until then I suggest you go about your day."

"But…" Rodney waved his hand in the direction of the Colonel's room revving up for another volley of vocalized ranting.

"Now, Doctor." Caldwell instructed sternly.

Rodney McKay stomped off with a huff. You could hear his mutterings down the long hall. _"Who does he think he is?", "Go back to your ship and stay there!", "What gives him the right to tell me I can't see Sheppard.", "Lorne's in charge here, not him.", "Why Teyla?", "Why not me?", "It's my refrigerator!" , "Damn it, Sheppard! I'm sorry.", "Let me expl…" _ His mutterings continued as he turned the corner.

Steven Caldwell shook his head and wondered, not for the first time, how Sheppard could put up with the cranky scientist. Maybe he should have requested Sheppard to be 'Sainted' instead of being awarded a commendation. Then again, maybe the Air Force needs to create a new medal: Falling on your Own Sword or something like that, because Sheppard did that in spades.

And Colonel Caldwell wasn't the only one who thought Sheppard deserved a commendation for his actions. Not for the actions on P1N-060, but for his virtuous actions as an Officer in the United States Air Force. The JAG panel wholeheartedly agreed after reviewing his records. The black mark on his service record seemed infinitesimal to what he had aspired to and accomplished since coming through a wormhole on a one-way mission.

When he walked into Sheppard's room he found his Doctor in heated discussion with said virtuous man. Arguing it seemed about his return to physical activity and active duty status.

"Am I interrupting?" Caldwell knew he was.

"No." Both men stated curtly simultaneously. Caldwell could barely hold back a grin and chuckle.

"If Colonel Sheppard is well enough to argue, we have a meeting with Mr. Woolsey in twenty minutes." He addressed the question to his ship's physician.

"Twenty minutes? I need to shower, shave and change. Doc you got something to cover this?" John motioned toward his abdomen's healing surgical scar.

"Go ahead and shower. I'll redress it when you're done. Just be careful."

Fifteen minutes later Colonel Sheppard was showered, shaved and donning half his Atlantis uniform while the Doc was placing what he hoped would be the last strip of adhesive tape over the clean bandage. Easing his black t-shirt on pulled at his stitches. As the trio left his quarters, John was buttoning up his Atlantis uniform shirt which completed his uniform. The guards in the hall stood at attention as they passed. Others who they passed kept their distance for which John was thankful. It probably had more to do with being flanked by Caldwell and Reynolds. They both were taking the roles of protector to the extreme.

Up the grand stairs, through the control room, across the small bridge the trio entered Woolsey's office right on time.

Richard stood offering the men a seat in the more comfortable chairs he had in his office.

"Where's Dr. Beckett?" Sheppard asked before taking his seat.

"In his assigned quarters." Woolsey answered blandly.

"You don't have him still under guard do you? I was told the JAG inquiry told you to release him." Sheppard's tone went up an octave in spite of his self control.

"He has been. He just won't come out. Dr. Beckett feels responsible for everything that happened. Not only for what happened to you Colonel but with the infirmary staff as well. He said the 'real' Carson wouldn't have let this happen."

"Bullshit! Carson being a clone has nothing to do with this. Even the 'real' Carson Beckett would have jumped on the band-wagon over this. Probably would have broken out his large needles just for the occasion." John tapped his earwig, "Lorne, escort Dr. Beckett to Woolsey's office and don't take 'no' for an answer." John clicked off abruptly not waiting for the automatic 'yes sir' reply. He sank slowly into one of the comfy chairs cautious of his injury. "Now… Colonel Caldwell tells me you're considering turning Beckett over to that pack of wolves that call themselves the Coalition. Like hell you are. You've dealt with them and know the Coalition better than the rest of us. You know they'll lock him up and toss away the key. The Pegasus Galaxy needs a competent doctor like Beckett. He has the skills, know how, he can take care of himself whether he believes it or not. We still have the Hoffan disease that Michael twisted in his attempt for global domination that we need to cure. Beckett is this galaxies best hope in doing that. The people out there trust him and so do I."

Little did Colonel Sheppard know that Lorne and Beckett had entered the office behind him while he clearly stated his opinion of the whole situation.

"Furthermore, Atlantis is going to continue supporting his efforts. We are going to provide supplies, medical support, use of medical facilities here on Atlantis whenever he needs it. Nothing is changing. Now if the IOA can't get behind us on this, then I will personally finance whatever supplies he needs. We're not… I'm not going to let the people of this galaxy suffer for what I did. Taking Dr. Beckett away from them would certainly cause the inhabitants of this galaxy to suffer. They need him." John finished with an exhaustive sigh.

Woolsey toyed with the pen and tablet he had on his lap while his Military Commander stated his views on the matter. "I see Colonel that you are very passionate about the outcome of this topic. What do you think, Dr. Beckett?"

John gasped, twisted in his chair wincing when he turned a little more than his stitches allowed trying to stand. Standing now, John faced Carson.

"Hello Colonel. It's good to see ya looking so well. I see that Dr. Reynolds has been takin' real good care of ya."

"Yeah, I guess." John winced in pain. Somehow his mouth had shifted into over-drive while his brain was stuck in park.

"Colonel, you alright?" Carson asked with concern but didn't move to offer any aid.

"Fine, Carson. Just a case of hoof-in-mouth disease." John turned to where the Daedalus Doc sat and apologized. "Sorry Doc, didn't mean it like it sounded. I appreciate everything you've done for me…really." The Daedalus Doctor gave a nod that he wasn't upset if the smirk on his face wasn't enough of an indication.

"Dr. Beckett, now that you're here please take a seat and we'll continue." Offered Mr. Woolsey.

oOo

Colonel Sheppard's door chimed at precisely zero eight hundred the next morning announcing the arrival of a visitor. The chime startled him for the briefest of moments. He wondered if he would ever get past this jumpiness. Sounds, people they all sent shivers down his spine. He tried to hide the trembling in his limbs—the only thing he could do was shove them in his pants pockets out of view.

After his meeting with Woolsey and forcing his opinion, or rather personal views of Beckett's disposition on him, John needed some time alone. He felt eyes on him the whole time. Like everyone was cataloging his every move and it made him nervous with the shakes. John was annoyed with himself that he couldn't gain control over his sudden urge to panic. At least people kept their distance. He didn't know what he might do if someone actually got too close or touched him.

The chime sounded again thinking 'open' once he'd calmed his nerves he allowed his visitor to enter.

"Sir? I wasn't expecting to see you again." John stated casually.

"I was told I needed to ask the Military Commander of Atlantis if I could get a loan on a puddle jumper. The Daedalus will be leaving this afternoon and as I recall P1N-060 needs to be investigated further."

"Yes Sir, it does. And you have permission to take a puddle jumper. I'll have Major Lorne prep one. Have your ATA pilot beam down to the gate room and I'll have Lorne do the check ride on their way to the Daedalus. That is if you don't mind beaming back my second-in-command."

"Not at all Colonel." Caldwell tapped his comm link to request four ATA gene pilots while Colonel Sheppard tapped his own earwig communicating his orders to Major Lorne. When both men finished their brief conversations Col. Caldwell spoke first. "How was your evening, Colonel?"

Caldwell was still playing the role of protector; acting much like an over-protective parent. He had noticed the tremors in the pilot during their meeting with Woolsey yesterday afternoon. He had noticed how quickly the Lt. Colonel left once the meeting was over and how his eyes scanned his surroundings like at any moment they would encapsulate him. Caldwell had wanted to check on Sheppard before beaming back to the ship but his ship's doctor held him back whispering in his ear. _"He needs to find his own way of dealing. You can check on him in the morning."_

"Fine, Sir." John said a little too quickly. Caldwell gave him a look of disbelief. "Alright, maybe not fine, but okay." John caved.

"You want to get anything off your chest?"

"As a matter-of-fact I do." With a long sigh John sat down on his bed motioning for the Colonel to take the desk chair. John rubbed a hand through his already spiky locks making them stand up even more. "Thank you." He blurted out rather quickly. John calmed before continuing, "I had the chance to read over everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything. I want to thank-you for what you did. You and Major Marks both put your careers on the line. I don't know too many people who would do that. Especially for me. We've never…you and I…well, we rarely see eye-to-eye. So thank you." John had read through all the new mandates coming from the SGC and IOA, realizing that what Col. Caldwell initiated was against protocol mandates. That he had put his career on the line for a screw-up like himself. He'd read through the after-action reports submitted by Col. Caldwell and Dr. Reynolds showcasing what happened from the time he was found. How fast Caldwell, Reynolds and Major Marks acted to come up with a plan to get to the truth. How Marks put his career in jeopardy as well. John had only talked with Marks in passing while on joint missions. Yet he helped get to the truth. He read the audit findings; noting that Atlantis was operating within the new guidelines. With exception to some infirmary staff, the infirmary itself ran well. The JAG recommendations seemed fair. John had read everything.

"I did what you would have done under the same set of circumstances."

"I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or be frightened that I'm rubbing off on you."

"A little of both." Caldwell stated, pleased with himself.

"What will the fallout be?"

"Nothing."

John was concerned for the two officers. "That's good."

Caldwell thought that a change in topics was warranted. Neither was very good at expressing their feelings and the conversation was getting dangerously close to their non-comfort zone. "How are things between you and Dr. McKay?"

"Awkward. Strained maybe. We had dinner last night in the mess hall. Teyla and Ronon were there too. Things will be different, maybe difficult between us for a while, while we readjust to one another, but overall I think things will turn out to be okay. Rodney apologized. It's going to take time. I hate to admit this, and by god don't repeat this to the Doc or he'll have me back in your sick bay, but I still panic."

Over the past three weeks John lost some of the self confidence he'd always had. Coming so close to death by people he thought he could always count on to have his six did something to him—inside. What happened to him wasn't even in battle…or doing battle with an enemy…what happened to him was caused by the people he'd lived with, people he had protected, laughed with, played with, fought side-by-side with. Ultimately it was because John had kept silent about the truth that had led to him almost dieing. It was as much his fault as theirs, if not more. His dying words written in his blood: _**'you're forgiven'**_, still haunted him. Would he ever truly forgive them? He hoped so.

"Under the circumstances I think you're allowed. Just don't let them control you. How's it going with the military establishment?"

"Not real sure yet. I don't know if I can win back their trust."

"Just give it time. It will get easier. You've set a good example. Hell, three quarters of my fighter squadron just put in for a transfer after your little demonstration." Caldwell paused for a moment. "We'll make a full report of our findings on P1N-060 for Atlantis. I've already recommended to Mr. Woolsey that he should send a copy of the report to the Coalition. If the Coalition wants to be this galaxies version of 'police'…there's no time like the present. The Daedalus will be in the star system for another day. If you need to talk…"

"I'll keep that in mind." John stated soberly. It was nice having Caldwell around to talk things out with. Although not his style, Caldwell had offered a different perspective; gave him some things to think about, to change. John looked up at his commanding officer, a grin spreading across his worn, panicked face. He couldn't help it. So with raised brow he asked, "Only three quarters?"

The End.

A/N: Thank you one and all for reading my story and submitting reviews.

Over the past several years of reading Stargate Atlantis FanFiction, I discovered there was not a lot of 'general stories' featuring John Sheppard and Steven Caldwell. Both these characters have a strong dynamic in their own right. I hope this story filled that void.

Best to all, Karen


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